Saturday, 3 January 2015

Angry?

I don't know if this whole situation works like the stages of grief but it certainly feels like it. Right now, I'm angry.

I'm angry I lost control of the situation just like that. I was unaware the whole flight home that a fight was happening, stupidly sitting in the plane, planning activities that would never happen. Right now I have no say, no control, and no way to influence the outcome of whats going to happen. Just like that the plans for us to stay together and all the places we were planning to go back here in Malaysia is gone. I know everyone says it doesn't matter we aren't going to stay together, as long as we are together in the same country we can still meet and all, but I don't think they know how much staying together meant to me.. I've been looking forward to this for ages and now it became a few months wait to a never to happen till our 30's thing. 

I'm unhappy that Puppy's parents take me as just a guy that he is dating, ignoring everything I have done for him. I've taken care of him, taught him to cook and cooked for him and basically helped in almost every way possible when he came over and yet now I'm taken as someone to be avoided and banned. I'm hurt. Just because I have a dick i'm not suitable to take care of their son to the point they are scrambling to find a new place for him to stay? 

To puppy's parents, you are selfish. Blinded by religion and what you have been taught to be "normal" that you neglect the wellbeing of your son's mental health. He isn't your pet to dictate what he suppose to do or don't do. He is your son. I'm not a bad influence to him, I did not do anything to make him love me unnaturally. Exactly like how you cancelled his flight and made him push back his University just so you can spend more time with him and keep him around so the house won't feel "empty" or today when he already promise me he would meet me at 1pm and at 12.45pm you made him have lunch with you? Please.. Be considerate to your son's feelings? You aren't going to lose him, you don't have to claw him back every time you feel you are going to lose him. 

I'm just angry.. 
I'm hurt...

There is only one party coming out of this happy and I know its not me.
By the end of next month, everything will be set and I know I've officially lost.. 

Gone. 
Leonut.