371 : I'm jealous?

Is this call jealousy?

The sudden frustration I always feel when you mention his name.
The fact that he is spending so much time with you when you guys just met.
Am I allowed to feel annoyed?

Every single day there would be a mention of you by him or him by you, either directly or indirectly.
I know you both have nothing on but its just such a kill joy when you tell me about him. Just the happiness i have when i talk to you disappears completely.

I'm closer to him than you are but...
I don't know what i'm feeling.
I just want to stop talking to both of you when you tell me stuff about him and vice versa.
If you both are so close just talk to each other!

Jealous you all are going out so often and i'm stuck here alone?
That he stopped talking to me and is instead talking to you?
That he is giving you gifts and i'm getting nothing?

What the hell is wrong with me?..
Maybe i'm just this stupid selfish fucker that don't want to be only unhappy one six thousand miles away.
I seriously need to get over this..
I better go back to studying.
Leonut

Ryan, please don't say anything.
I still want to post things here as an outlet, not as a news report to puppy or anyone i know personally. 

234 : Exam Fucks!

I'm suppose to stop blogging a while but something happened today that just annoyed the hell out of me.

First paper, i was.. fairly ready?
Was calm in the exam hall. The number of seats was really breathtaking!
I was allocated a seat under an air vent blowing hot hair. I got used to the sound but i couldn't hear the last announcement out of the multiple housekeeping rules due to it. An invigilator came over and handed me the question booklet. Exam started and i started answering the questions.

Throughout the whole exam the girl beside me was sleeping!!! I don't know why but i just got distracted by her. She honestly never even lifted her pen! Not a single word written. I think it was the way i was comfortable sitting that i can see her movements at the corner of my eye. I seriously cannot stand people sleeping through an exam. Parents paid so much money for course fees and you just sleep it away even through the exams?? Pft!


Then it happened.
2 hours into the exam, 5 questions down and 3 more to go, i decided to take a 10 seconds break. I put down my pen and look around. Then i started to notice something.. Everyone had alot of papers on their tables.. It was weird.. I looked around and realize something.. HOLY FUCK!! I'm one paper short!!! And i dont even know what paper is that! Question paper?? Instruction sheet?? I quickly raise my hand and the same invigilator that gave me the question booklet came over. She seemed nice, an old women in her late 50's wearing pink.. HELL I WAS WRONG!! A fucking Dolores Umbridge in her bitchy flesh!!

I felt like slapping her!!

Excuse me madam, I really sorry but i was looking around and realize everyone has another sheet of paper with a logo on top. I didn't get that sheet of paper.
 
You didn't get it?

No I did not.

That can't be! I put one in every booklet.

No, I honestly did not get it.

Are you sure?

Yes i am!

Well, did you not listen to announcements?

I'm really sorry but i couldn't hear it clearly just now and the exams started.

You should have raised your hand earlier, the exams are more then half way over! I shall go talk to the senior advisers and let you know. Maybe they will come over to talk to you later.

Okay, is it important by the way?

Of course it is!

The whole time i was talking to her she was just smiling. She kept insisting she gave me the paper. What? I hid the paper and asked for another one??? Dumb bitch!! And then she walked away like nothing happened and came back 10 mins later with the paper.

Here is the paper. You have less then one hour left to complete the whole exam and this too. Good luck!~

And again!! With the stupid happy tone and smile!! WHAT THE FUCK?? I literally started panicking! My whole body started to shiver and my mind just went blank. 1 more hour for 3 questions and what ever shit was on that paper and all because she "gave" me the paper!! My time allocation gone and i just started scribbling every crap i could for the last 3 questions.

The whole time in my mind was "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!! THERE GOES MY HD!! MY ONLY CHANCE OF A HD AND THERE! GONE CAUSE OF HER!!"

I ended finishing the paper 10 mins before the end time and i opened the paper. "Replacement for question 2". WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

I just shut the paper and nearly cried..
I just read the paper but my mind was blank.. and i didn't change a single thing on my answer..

Sat there till time was over and handed up my paper.
When i was packing to leave, dolores walked by and gave me a smirk..

FUCK YOU BITCH!!

Leonut!