325 : Kids, Fragile Glass and other scary things.

Confession : I have an extreme mix feelings of hate and fear towards kids. 

Yes. I'm weird like that but honestly i really don't like being in the presence of children, typically kids below 6 years young. 

They are so fragile! Worst than handling thin glass. It's like if they trip and fall they might die.. or worst.. start crying.. Just hearing the banshee screech of unsatisfaction and attention just sends me in a state of panic, I can never tell what they want or what they like. I'm just stereotypical, happy faces or soft toys, and if that doesn't work, go find Mama. 

Another thing is they absorb everything! Did you guys watch Meet The Fockers? The baby's first words were "Asshole". A similar thing happened to me once. I was talking to a friend when I swore. Unknowingly, my dance teachers' daughter wondered behind us and over heard it. She then proceeded to repeat it the way she registered the taboo word : Fourk. The second we heard it we turned around, face changed and went "oh.. my.. god.. no no no no no no no no no, not fourk! Frog! Frog right?? Frog jumping around! Froggy! Froggy". Should see our faces when she said "no, FOURK!". Took us 5 minutes of repeated jumping followed by the word "frog" to convince her it was frog.. NEVER AGAIN! Curse you sponge brain!!

I swore at a baby once.. We were eating in a restaurant where the tables were separated by a short partition. My sister went "Eh.. eh.. turn around and see." 

I turned around and screamed :"FUCK!!!!!" I was literally few inches from this freaky baby climbing the partition. His eyes were freaking huge and staring right at me. I was so freaking scared i could feel my heart pounding. I usually don't swear around little kids, but swearing at a baby, i felt terrible. 

I don't care what you guys say.. This was the scariest thing ever..

Another thing is their protective parents. When anything goes wrong, no matter is it their child's fault or yours, its YOURS!! There was this young girl, holding her dad's hand walking in front of me. She kept turning around and staring at me with this bitchy look while walking. Around the 5th time she turn around, i was so annoyed at her, I gave her the "wtf do you want" look. I was wearing a plain shirt, there was nothing special. She got pissed off and tugged on her dad's hand and complain. Like the hell.. Anyyways, when they slowed down so she could "complain", i just overtook them and walked away. SAVED!

Don't get my wrong. I love kids, the nice quiet intelligent onces, not the playful spoiled annoying brats. Seeing parents put an ipad in front of their kids to entertain and distract them when they go out for dinner, i'm really worried on how the next generation of tablet and Smartphone kids will grow up to become.

When I get my own children however, I'm gonna be that protective irrational bitch too i guess. And if i don't get my own children, I'm gonna spoil and make my sister's children fat.. =P

In the mean time, I'm gonna smile and act happy around kids.. Don't wanna be that guy that scars them for life...

Happy Sunday!
Leonut