407 : Balls and Sausage?

Balls and sausage.

Anyone of you know what malaysian fish cakes are?
A type of processed food made of fish and.. err.. other stuff..
Usually cooked with noodles, complementing the dish.
Not to be confused with the Thai fish cake.

Anyways, today a customer asked me what fish cakes where, naturally I told her it was a type of processed food, to further clarify what it taste like, I told her they tasted exactly like fish balls.

Freaking, BAD CHOICE OF WORDS..

I got the 'Did you actually said balls' look from both the Caucasian ladies on the table..

"Well that's awkward.."
"Like fish BALLS??"
"No no no no... not that type of balls... Is an Asian food made of fish paste.."
"Hmm?.."
.
.
.
"Oh!!! Okay, the best way I can describe it would be a sausage made of fish? The best and most accurate description I can think of." 
"So.. a fish SAUSAGE?? *both grins*
"Oh.. my.. god.. very.. very bad choice of words.."
"First you tried selling us balls, now sausages? Next you'll be selling us your b.."
"OKAY! My bad totally.. "
The whole conversation was so awkward but fun at the same time! Those two cheeky young ladies were laughing so hard, talking to me about sausages and balls for about 5 mins with the super crowded restaurant behind us. End of the order, I manage to get both of them to just get fried chicken.. Everyone loves fried chicken!

Balls, and sausages..
Society made them such suggestive words. Even during dance when my friend said do a "ball change", my friend pretended to grab his balls and said "changing my left and right balls".

"That's what he/she said" triumphs all suggestiveness still!

Dude! Why is it so big?. "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!"
Omg.. Its so hard! "THATS WHAT SHE SAID!!"

*wink wink!*

That's what I said all the time..

Cheeky,
Leonut

400 : Creepy.. Plain Creepy.

Gonna be a long post about a restaurant customer people call my stalker.. lol

Working in a F&B industry, I can honestly say you get to meet some of the nicest people, the worst type people, the best looking and also, who can forget, the weirdest of people.

Have you seen someone want his food modified to vegetarian and then add a piece of fried chicken?

This few weeks I've been working almost everyday. One particular table with a family of 6 had a really really friendly guy.. Too friendly that it just creeps everyone out. First time I actually noticed this man he was talking to my friend, Izzy, that moment, no one expected us to gain a peculiar regular customer.

1.
He tapped my arm when i walked by his table.
"Hey! Whats your name?"
"Er.. Leo..?."
"Hello! Are you from Malaysia?"
"Yea, Malaysia PJ."
"Oh! Me too! Do you know where Izzy is from?"
"I'm not particularly sure actually"
"Why not? She is your co-working?"
"Oh, she just joined us about a month ago, I haven't got to know her well"
"I see, I see"
*Awkward smile, RUN AWAY* 

Few mins later walking by that table when Izzy was clearing their plates.
"Hey Izzy, I heard you are new here!"
Should see Izzy's face.. My god.. She was so creeped out.

2."Hey Leo! Do you know your name (my real name), can stand for *censored*, or *censored*?? (referring to a superhero) Its so funny! Are you a superhero then??
"Err.. haha.. I got to go"
*It was so lame.. I had nothing to say..*

3.
"Leo!! Beberapa Umur?? (How old are you in Malay)
"Dua-puluh" (20)
"Oh! Hahaha, I'm twice your age! 44! Imagine that!
"Wow.. Okay.. I'll just go.."

4.
"Hey Leo! My name is Micheal by the way.
Micheal~"
"Okays"..
I didn't ask. but okay.. 
That was the highlights of the first day, with lots of mini creepy things he did..
He came in alone for lunch 2 days later.

5.
"Hey Leo!! Nice to see you again! Are you free now? Can i ask you a few IQ questions?"
"Yea I am." (He came in so early, he was the only 3 tables having lunch"
"Okay! Can i have your middle finger?
"Huh?"
*Clips my middle finger using his thumb and index*
"Okay! *Gesturing to difference places of his arm*, White house, blue house, green house, Red house, Where is the white house?"
"Right here?"
"WRONG! White house is in Woshington DC! haha"
"Oh! hahaha! wtf fucking lame..""Second question~ *Something lame where i got wrong*
*Puts his hand near my face* "Am i touching you?"
"No?"
"Wrong! I'm touching your finger"
"O.o..."
*Proceed to get the next question wrong*
"Okay, last question! Whats the first question i asked you?""The white hou.."
"WRONG! Can i ask you a few IQ question!" 
"Oh! haha! I got all wrong".
"Yea you did!"
"Okay, I can stand here for too long, I'm going to go walk around"

The whole time I was smiling cause I really didn't know what to do.. The questions were so lame!! Especially coming from him!

6.
"Hey Leo! Do you have a pen and paper? I can write all the questions down for you so you can test your friends!"
"Oh its okay! Don't worry about it!"
"You sure?? Its not a hassle, I can write it down for you"
"Nah, I mean all these are quite common, there are plenty in the internet"
"Really? I got this all the way from Singapore! I never heard any like this before"
"Nah its really okay."
"Awww.. Okay, but anytime you want it you can just ask me!"
"Sure! *quickly pretend i'm busy and walk away*

7.
"Hey leo! Can we be friends?"
"Sure....?"
"Lets exchange email address?"
"O.o.... I don't use email!" *Panic mode*
"What?? You don't?"
"Yea! I don't! Its like i only use it once a week to check my work roster then i just turn it off!"
"So you don't check your mail?"
"Oh nope! haha! These days everyone just uses their phone!" 
"Yea i know. Too bad I don't know how to use all of those"
"Aww.. Generation Gap i guess."
"Yea its the generation gap"
"Okays~!"

The whole day that day i just really don't know what to feel.. Felt so creeped out by this creepy looking friendly asian man.. Other staff just stand and laugh at me, even the kitchen laughed at me.

NEXT DAY.

Was talking to my friend the next day about how creepy the day before was.
Everyone was laughing at it, before we knew it, looked at the door and he came in!
I just ran and hid behind the counter..

Refused to walk near his table.
He actually grabbed hold of my friend and ask him for his name.When my friend told him what his name was, his reply was "Hey Vincent, Do you know i know Leo?"
The whole day he did make small talk to me when i walked by. The kitchen actually allowed me to NOT send food to his table.. Basically, everyone was laughing, everyone was scared to be his next victim and i was deemed to be attractive to older men.. lol

400th post dedicated to Micheal.
The way you creep me out like no other.

I'm feel like sleeping every moment i'm free..
Leonut

396 : Worked to the bone

My manager is the King, she and her Queen rule the whole of my workplace.

The queen, obviously, can do what ever shit she wants, as many mistakes she wants or the worst drinks her unfortunate ability allows her to do, and no one can say anything in the fear the King might make life a living hell.

The King, trying to cut cost, has implemented the stupidest rules I have ever faced in my life. Several shifts I have even felt like crying seeing how bullshit the rules are.

Water is free in Australia, you can go to any restaurant and they will give you table water (Tap water in a big 1L glass bottle), so a table of 3 will have 3 cups on their table, and if they order drinks, you will have 6 cups. Each shift, only one staff is assigned to make drinks for the whole restaurant, that makes up almost 40 tables. You can say its only drinks, how hard is it right? 

WRONG!

Shit lot of work just to make a cup of hot drink. Fastest I can make the signature drink takes about 30 seconds with the recipes and all. So imagine during busy periods, where one min can have orders for almost 15 drinks accumulated from different tables, how long would that take to clear? and the orders keep coming in with the high table turn over. However, making drinks is part of the job, getting to make drinks takes the trust from the King that you can actually perform before she will train you. Can be proud to be selected to make drinks.

What fuckery am i complaining about then? The King has decided we can cut labour cost if we eliminate the staff that suppose to be washing the cups for you. So the person making the drinks have to manage the whole restaurant AND wash cups and fill water bottles.

The whole sink just fills up in 30 mins during busy hours even though its a deep sink and the side of the sink piled up with glass bottles to be filled. Once it took my friend 45 mins just to clear the whole sink of cups and bottles after shift. So now, we are suppose to do everything alone.Damn bullshit. Last Sunday i nearly cried during shift. After 2 hours of making drinks non stop, i turned around just to see more than 20 empty bottles and 2 sinks filled with cups to be washed. Worst part is, the cups and bottles continue to come in, table for 2 brings in 4 cups, table for 4, 8 cups. 

After everyone complained, fucker manager decided to send a proposal to make a bigger sink. Like her brain is in use right? When her stupid proposal failed, she decided to improvise. Now, when it gets really busy, we will take all the cups and bottles, put them in big buckets and then push them to the back so "the sink will be clear and we can put more cups and bottles, and then you can wash them later"

How stupid can she be???

Everyone that does drinks just learns to swear 10 times more. 

Underpaid and overworked..

Rant rant rant!

368 : How to get rich

My friend purposed a get rich quick scheme.
She will kill me if she found out I'm spreading it, so keep it harsh harsh k?
Don't want everyone getting the same ideas and ruining her master plan.

Its simple actually.

°◦°◦◦~~~°◦°◦◦o◦◦°◦°~~~◦◦°

First, you volunteer at a hospital.

She being herself, she says its best to read story books and poems to old men.

(preferably those alone and close to *ahem*)

Day by day, she plans to wear skimpier clothes and allow physical touch.

And hopefully when they pass, they will leave their fortune with her.

Being gay, i guess that its actually easier for us to gain fortune using this scheme?..
lol

°◦°◦◦~~~°◦°◦◦o◦◦°◦°~~~◦◦°

Anyways, this is a joke okay?
Nothing serious and just for laughs.
Work is getting busier.
God, i need a stay home break at least for one day!

Leonuts

320 : I'm not stupid

I'm not stupid my dear colleagues.
Just because i present myself as a hyper and playful person doesn't mean what ever i say is senseless and not important.
As a matter of fact it is the other way around.

I'm stupid in your eyes just because i don't talk about the senseless crap you guys talk about?
Get a life.
Broaden your knowledge about the world and be more open minded about the things you don't know.
Just because your small feeble narrow brain of yours can't comprehend simple general knowledge i talk about doesn't make me the stupid laughing stalk in the whole conversation.
Oh no my dear colleagues.. never.

Like a simple German dish called the Pork Knuckle. Yes, it is the knuckle of a swine. People eat that. The moment i was laughed at for eating a so call "weird and disgusting" thing just made me realize how dumb all you guys are.

An arm full of tattoos is call a tattoo sleeve. Use its proper name rather then using 5 sentences that could be replaced with one simple common word. Telling me "yea, whatever, the arm tattoo things"? Yup, my respect for all of you just dropped even lower.

Been 4 months since i started working with you guys and with each passing day i worked with you all, it brought me closer to the realization that the whole group of you are just plain dumb. I'm happy i have reduced my work shifts every week yet somewhat sad to see the whole group of you "popular" kids rubbing your stupidity onto others, dumbing them down to your level.

I do prefer to sit by myself far from your lunch table because i find it completely pointless to talk to you all. Listening to you guys talk about how you get piss drunk everyday and your "adventures" to get home in your intoxicated state every night doesn't amuse me.

Don't tease and call me anti-social.

I choose not to be laughed at every word i say. Taking yesterday as another example, you guys were talking about cartilage piercings and I was laughed at for saying "industrial piercing" because non of them heard of it before. Yes dumb fucks, there are such things.

Knowledge is power, not a big mouth and narrow brain.
THINK before talking. Impression on people is key to a success.
As i dig a hole and bury my respect for you guys 6 feet under, I'm happy you guys are such a close gang knowing monkeys travel in packs.

Till the head chimp backstabs you all dumb ignorant fucks,
Lots of Love,
Leonut :)

319 : 2 faced

"Don't get too closed to her, she is going to back stab you and everyone she is close to when she needs to. Be careful"

My heart stopped when i heard a senior told me that.
.
.
.

I KNEW IT!! My manager is the evil warbitch of the underworld that sells people's souls!!

The moment I met my manager I could sense something off about her. The always happy helpful person she is seems unnatural. I knew she was heartless in someway, but i just didn't know how.

I was raised this way.
To be very careful with people, to analyze people and trust only those safe to trust and yesterday, I had the conformation I needed about my manager.

Everyone else seems to be damn close to her. They go out for drinks and clubs with her on a weekly if not daily basis and they tell her everything which just leads to me drifting away from them.
Yes it could be me just being paranoid but you can't be too careful right?
The senior I talked to don't work where i do anymore claiming she had some "issues". I'm willing to bet my hat that my manager back stabbed and got her fired..

So now its just come in, get my work done and leave.

Discoveries of people's 2 face-ness as the awesome Jboy has discovered as well..

Be careful of people you meet!
Leonut

296 : Counterproductive

When you tell someone something like "Don't look", most likely they will look. 

We all have that retarded friend, or retarded self as I am.

"Eh, don't look ah.. but that guy there.."
*Turns around within a split second* "WHERE WHERE??"
"Fucker..."  -.-'''

Anyway, i realize how dumb i am today..

"Leonut, I'm behind you"
Immediately boom! Instinctively I turned around, bumped into her hard and she nearly drops everything she was carrying.
Few mins later she was carrying things walking pass behind me and the same thing happened. I turned around the second she tried to warn me.

Can't blame me right?? I was being polite.. Mama thought me to look at people when they talk to you and vice versa. Hence the immediate turn around followed by a "yea?" and then "OMG! ARE YOU OKAY?"

Got a mini lecture about that issue after the 3rd time it almost happen.. Walk around and not turn around i was told..

Heh.
To the blogger enjoying his 2 weeks of holiday in US..
Bugger.. take me with you.. lol

Happy Weekend Everyone!
Leonut

294 : Working Gaydar.

A friend of mine, an experienced staff was sitting down with everyone today after our shift, chatting and laughing away at the things that happened during our shift.
Apparently the topic of gays comes up often during our regular crapping sections.
I really don't mind talking to them about it(of course they don't know about me), except for 2 others which prefer to use the term "faggot" than any other terms. Fucker assholes both of them.

So yea, apparently my friend has a super strong gaydar. People used to go to her to seek her 'expert advice', usually girls as to the guys availabilities. Honestly speaking, gaydar is just the way you can pick up body language and signals and interpret them right? Example of one case she told us about..

"Eh, Az! You saw that hot guy that walked in ah?"
"That guy ah? Gay."
"How you know? Maybe he is just soft?"
"Have you seen people order roti canai his legs and feet touching and playing with another guys legs or not? Gay."
"lolol..."

She mentioned herself the best people in the world are gay guys. Haha, woohoo for us?
Or woohoo in Sims' term?.. I wanna woohoo.. LOL!

Anyways! If i could i would go after her.. Haha
What me saying?..

I better stop having supper with the staff till 2 am with beer.. LOL
There is a guy from my work place that is damn obviously gay. His boyfriend came pick him up in a damn nice BMW.. Fuck jealous lo.. MANA MINE???? Bitch i want a Mercs boleh ke?.. Haha :PP

Leoo~~

293 : A Lecturer

Was working today when i saw a familiar face.
Couldn't put my finger on it till a few mins later it the train of thought snapped right into place..
"OMG! Its that fucker lecturer that refuses to answer any question you ask him via emails or forum just because he says 'i discussed this in lectures before'!!!"
I took a second look at his table and then i was mind blown'ed.. HE GAY!! Sitting with 5 other guys which unfortunately all only fits the MOE of Malaysia's definition criteria of liking men and holding big hand bangs. How sure i am of them being gay?..
I can bet my virginity on it.
I told my manager he was my lecturer and she went "Oh! He gay ah?", followed by a few suck up tips that she has learned from years of experienced. lol

Working day in and day out, the number of gay couples i see everyday is just really shocking.. Like i never knew there were so many around.. And me single?? Pftt!! Bitch please la!

Anyways.. I now know he is flirt-able..  Hehe, might work into my advantage... >:3

Leonutt~~