414 : Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone!

So.. I've to admit I've never celebrated Christmas before. Not properly at least, to my family Christmas is just a normal day with the exception for the young(er) ones going out with friends. Our house would have zero decorations whatsoever or any festive songs playing in the air.

This year was something different! I was invited to follow puppy for a midnight Christmas service. Due to some unforeseen circumstances however, plans cancelled.. He is going to Singapore tomorrow as well so I can't contact him till the 29th..

Ah well..

ANYONE WATCHED FROZEN?

Puppy is obsessed over the song "do you wanna build a snowman".
To cheer him up, I doodled this for him.

Stitch and Puppy

Would build a snowman with you any day.
=P

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Leonut
(Surprise I still remembered how to draw stitch after years of not drawing. XD)

411 : I think my mum knows..

Well like what they say, mother always know.

Going home only once a year, I do ask my mum to bring stuff home for friends when she comes over during the holidays, and friends usually being just Puppy. So puppy drops by my home once in a while to collect things I bought him or to pass things to my mother so she can bring it over. Naturally my mum knows him by name now rather than going by "the friend that sends me home" when I was back last year.

Few days back I was sitting with my mum at the breakfast table. Me gobbing down my breakfast, while she was playing her usual candycrush along with every other candycrush knock off, the topic of flying home came up. Cheap flights, comfort and the question of which Airport to arrive, I told her most Malaysians here in Melbourne refuse to go home early and rather stay here till late December or even January while Singaporeans fly home the second they get (Malaysian patriotism at it's best). I brought up the fact that I didn't tell a single friend when I'm flying home. Her immediate reply?

"What about that boy, Puppy? You didn't tell him?"

I was caught off guard I don't even know what gibberish reply I gave her.
So many friends of mine she knows and she mentioned only puppy's name..

Another instance was after we went strawberry picking. Was 5 of us picking and eating them fresh of the bush, we landed with almost 7kg of strawberries. My mum was going back to Malaysia the day after we picked them so I asked my mum if she could bring some back for my friends. First question ask :

"Puppy? How much you think he wants?"

So fuck that.. I told her its a big group of friends so its gonna be too much to give away. Until now she still ask me "are you sure you don't want me to give some to him.". Don't know why she keep insisting to use 'him' when I told her its 'them'.

So yea.. I think my mum knows about Puppy and I. Smart mum that can even figure out a LDR.
Just hope she is as accepting as the way I'm reading her actions and speech.

Wonder whats gonna happen when I actually get back home?..

Leonut

*edited*
Oh! Another time she was looking for her makeup remover in my room.. She reached in one of my bags I had laying around and the first thing she pulled out was lube, stared at it and shoved in right back in the bag within 2 seconds.. F..M..L..

397 : Mirrors.

Walked in the room and i could sense the heaviness in the air.
Mellow music playing in the background and puppy sitting on the extra mattress on the floor.

I stared at him and him at me. That brief moment of locking eyes sent a burst of emotional waves through my whole body, before i knew it, I was tearing up. He hugged me in a tight embrace, assuring me everything was going to be okay, that I cannot or rather must not cry.

Hypocrite he was, I knew he was crying when he hugged me. Pushing out, I could see his face and his signature adorable frown. Thinking of how much i would miss him made the flood gates open. We just stood in the center of the room, rocking our bodies from side to side, twirling around slowly in each other's arms while the music playing over.

Just taking in the warmth, the hypnotizing scent of his, the tightest of his grip, everything felt so comfortable like I was in another dimension. That moment felt like it could last forever.. That was, until i opened my mouth..

L : Baby..
P : Yea?..
L : I need to ask you something..
P : Hmm?...
L : WTF IS THIS SONG?? Its like going on forever and ever!! Not sickening meh??
P : WHAT?? Its Mirrors by JT.
L : Why so long?
P : It's 8 mins..
L : WHY??
P : Stupid la you..

And that's when the moment of sweetness just died off, hugging stopped, tears dried up instantly and we were laughing again.

Leonut, 

the destroyer of sweet moments,

 not only once, 

but countless times....
Which pisses puppy off sometimes.. 

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Don't know why I suddenly had the urge to write out this memory of our last day together in Melbourne. Just miss his freaking cute frown.. Sounds odd right?.. Like a boyfriend that likes seeing the other sad.. Just makes me want to hug him to make him smile again.

I can't listen to Mirrors without that moment playing in my mind anymore. The song became our couple song without us really knowing. Always cry when i hear that song now.  Sob Sob..

Busy week ahead!

Leonut

389 : Out by stupidity.

*Walking to work

Baby, did you see my relationship request?? =3
Yea, I saw it. Why so random? Thought you don't want to change?
Its okay, Announce it to the world!
Err.. Okay.. if you say so.. *Clicks accept*
Awesome!!

Clocked in for work, was about to off my phone and I started getting messages of congratulations and how proud they are that I'm coming out of the closet. 

OMG!! Puppy!! WHAT HAVE WE DONE?? People are messaging me and congratulating me!
WHAT??? It's not private??
Mine wasn't..
I was only joking! I thought yours was too!
Oh shit, puppy, you better fix it, I'm already at work. Go log in and fix it!
I'm in class!

*Tries logging into facebook, Facebook : Your account has been locked, please log in using safari*
O.o...

Puppy.. we are so dead.. 

I was panicking so bad, I actually spilled tea all over my favourite pair of pants and my pants are now stained. Only about 20 minutes later Puppy told me he got everything under control and I offed my phone for work.

Only after work I logged into Facebook to see this and many private messages.
Kinda nice to see how accepting people you don't expect to be are.

Apparently puppy ran to the library just to change it. <3

To the first comment and others that commented, thank you! Except for tuls.. Apa berpuasa ni! lol!

To most people that ask why am I scared to come out, Its not exactly a "scared" issue, but its rather there are people out there that i don't want them to know (Eg. Cousins, Aunts, close minded people) that can use that information against me.. lol..

Actually fell sick working almost everyday due to the under-staff problem since its winter break.
Sleeping till 2pm never felt so good in ages. Better get well before my next shift..

Leonut

Ps. What the hell are so many people doing up at 8am Malaysian time?? Seriously don't even know who saw it and who didn't.. 

382 : Leading him on~

Finally all my activities have came to a halt till the next semester. Today alone marks the first time I actually ate dinner at home in 2 weeks.. Busy busy schedule.

Anyways, exams are on its way in two weeks!
Come at me bro!

I didn't ask puppy's permission to post pictures.. lol

Puppy ccame over for 10 days and I lead him to the typical tourist attractions.
Only manage to take a few pictures among all the places we went.
Didn't want to attract attention from the public by holding hands in crowded areas..

Kinda like a parody of "the girl who lead her boyfriend around the world".

"Stitch leading puppy around Melbourne."
-the failed parody.

Anyone can name the places?

Leonut

One of the pictures is of puppy. =D

381 :

Cooled down, talked everything out and everything is fine now..

Guess what people said is true, secret to a long lasting relationship is to fix problems not throw them away.
I'm that bitch in fault in the whole thing.

I know there are a million things you can actually complain about me but most of the things I do I really don't feel I'm doing wrong.. If i make sense?.. Which makes me kinda an ass?.. I don't know.. There is still a lot for me to learn...

Lots of cracks in the mirrors and we are still patching them up.. I know the cracks will always be there but lets not look at ourselves through the cracked glass? or get a fucking blow torch and melt the cracks away!

The day you left back to Malaysia we made a promise on the bridge. Locked our padlock on the rail of the bridge, and the key with you in Malaysia. Stitch <3 Puppy. Our relationship ain't going anywhere anytime soon and the padlock too unless they chop down the bridge.. lol

Thanks all that gave me advice and a shoulder during the past few days.
Love you guys for your support!

Lots of love,
Leonut

379 : I'm pissy.

Dear Puppy, 

I'm sorry I'm the pissy one in the relationship.
I know I'm easily annoyed but I'm glad you put up with me.

That day you asked me to go out with your friends, I really didn't want to.
I hate tagging along group dinners..
Everyone would be talking to each other about some inside stories or news and I would just be sitting there. Even when I met up with high school friends after splitting up with the whole group of them in college, I felt so left out and secluded. They were talking about people or past events and I was just there. Seriously felt like i was meeting a new group of people. So that day you asked me to joined you again and again, i agreed, but i was in a terrible mood and when i got there, my mood just got worst. At least after that day, we only meet up with the two of them and not the other girl.

Another reason why i hate meeting new people is the fact that you just sit there to get judged. Maybe not your friends but meeting most people, especially in "our" society, 'meeting up' usually means go out, get judged and then get cut off completely cause you aren't up to par. I know my flaws, i see them everyday in the mirror. Features that looks off, uneven skin, acne and pimples, I already dread them, I don't need others to stare and criticized.

The other day, we walked all the way to DFO to shop, 20 mins just to walk there and you walked through all the shops except 4 or 5 because you were shopping for brands? I was freaking pissed on how much of a waste of time that felt, adding on from the bloody waste of money from the Melbourne Aquarium. Seriously, 58AUD (Rm174'ish) just to see that few number of tanks?? Waste of my hard earn money. 

I'm easily pissed off..
The whole trip you came I was pissed off a number of times and I apologize once again.. Really need to control my temper.

Even when talking with you on whatsapp, I don't know is it because you use wrong words and terms with me that feels like an insult or I think too much but it feels like we argue more than a couple should, mainly cause of me..

Anyways,
Dance again in an hour,
I'll talk to you when I cool down from yesterdays argument.

Leonut

378 : Dear Puppy. I

I only realize I lost my wallet right before I was suppose to pick you up from the train station. I panicked and was rushing to beat your bus from the airport to the train station, ransacking the whole house looking for my train card. Not being able to give you the airport scene you always wanted and foiling your plan to "surprise" me one day earlier, I wanted to make sure i was there when you got down the bus, and sure enough, i made it few mins right before you. =D

I can honestly say I actually forgot how you look like in person. Its been always been a 2D imagine on the other side of the webcam for as long as i remember, as i said before, your pictures don't do your features justice. When I finally saw you, you were so blur looking getting down the bus and dragging your bag. My first thought was "DAYUMM! My baby is cute!!". lol?

Anyways, I was damn excited to see you! Hugs and kisses* when we got home, everything felt like a dream finally being able to feel your warmth and cuddling in bed.

First dinner: fish and chips. I never knew you don't eat salads.. MORE FOR ME!! Quite stupid of both of us to order battered and grilled fish when we both prefer grilled.. -__-..

I'll post pictures of the food and scenery next time k?

Dance in an hour..
Two more hours till you land, how AirAsia is doing you good.. lol

Miss you lots.
Leonut

P.s :You are on the plane home and I'm eating up all the food you left behind.. #fatdieme

366 : Happy Birthday Puppy!

People guessed puppy is called puppy cause :
"He sticks out his tongue"
"Puppy eyes"
"Fluffy and cute" or
"He likes doggy style"

But here is the reason why, 

There are a few reasons why and none of them involves him in liking the doggy style or even licking (okay maybe the licking). There is actually a list why he's my puppy.

1. He is cute, fluffy and cuddly. Just being able to wrap my arms around his waist and hug him as tightly I want to! He's exactly like a Pomeranian to me.

2. He is strong, protective and supportive. I feel so safe when I'm in his arms. These traits are like a Rottweiler. My personal bodyguard 

3. He is also kind and nice. Exactly like a Golden Retriever.

4. He is also noisy and loud at the same time. He blabs all day long without getting tired just like a chihuahua. He never shuts up.

That basically sums up why he's my puppy. He's fluffy at the right places which makes him so huggable, he's protective and nice at the same time and his noise just brings joyful sounds to my life.

_________________________________________________________

Truth be told, that was written by puppy. Forced him to write this cause he wanted a more romantic reason. Hehe. I can say most of those are true. I freaking miss hugging and cuddling him. He is always damn supportive to me, nice and kind to me even though i'm in a bad mood, and he is very, very loud (Sings to me most of the time XD).

Anyways.. The real reason why i call him puppy is short and sweet.

I called him a bitch and he didn't like it so i cushion it by calling him puppy..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUPPY!! 

Bring you makan ice cream again soon! 

Love you lots!

Leonut

365 : Happy Monthsary!

Happy Monthsary Puppy!

Like you said, been hell of a ride.
Arguments about *ehem* topics and all.. My bad.. >.<
Glad you still kept me eh?

Being over 6000 km apart is hard but we gonna stay strong k?
One month down, plenty to come!

Sending a video a day to each other gonna keep us stuck like glue.
Love you!
Leonut

I'll get to hold your hand while you drive me around again soon!  XD

Anyone can guess why his name is puppy?
Hehe

360 : Having "History" Together

XX : "Oh puppy? We have history together"

Me :" WHAT??? How come he never told me about you before?? He told me all his past before and he has never mentioned you."

XX :" You go ask him la.."

Me :"Fine, i will!"


And after much questioning about the mysterious past history puppy had with Mr. XX, I realize just what history they had.

They had history class together in college.
Way to make me feel stupid eh Mr.XX?

English!!
Why you so ambiguous??

Leonut

359 : Changing Nature

Puppy messaged me yesterday..
Undeniably, i knew he was feeling really down from his text tone.
After constant pester on what has been bugging him, he spilled when he was ready..

It was me.
I am the one that ruins his day without fail.

2 years of being the obsessive type, texting almost every min, constant need for their attention (no wonder i always got dumped), my nature changed. I used to get so depressed when I don't get a reply, or when they only reply hours later with short replies. Once bitten, twice shy, I've changed to a person that live my life without the constant need of attention from a beloved anymore. Numb from all the past, over thinking and the countless times the previous guys have made me bleed, I've became exactly like them, short texts and delay replies. I really don't know why I do exactly that but I unconsciously do. I read a text and throw my phone aside and continue with my daily routine, only replying when i get the urge to.

Vicious cycle ain't it? Someone that gets this delay treatment long enough becomes one that replies late to another guy and the cycle continues. I guess its just a brutal defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt anymore. Humans are so complex eh?

Anyways, puppy, I'm sorry I've been so cold to you.
I'm happy you understand that it's my personality and who I am.
I won't change overnight, but i'll try my best.
You wont lose me so easily and hopefully you won't lose your happy nature.

Lots of love,
Leonut

I'm back. =)