Wednesday, 31 December 2014


Curious how I have the crave for a male's touch rather than a female's.
Wonder is it a mentality thing or pheromones.. I'm sure there is a proper explanation for it but if there isn't, could it be that something is really wrong with my brain? Is that why homosexuals are call abominations by outsiders looking in. Fascinating how different people are, everyone somehow just falls under a certain category, the gays, the lesbians, the bisexuals and transgenders, within them, their own subgroups, the feminine gays, the drags, the jocks and all.. Everyone with their own district trait..

I really don't know where this post is going to go but i'm just going to keep typing.. I see parents, friends and strangers always talking about a gay comedian, or a drag queen that made them laugh, but if their own son or daughter falls within the "different" category, they lose their mind.. They become angry, they scream, they shout, verbal and physical abuse occurs. The victim, feeling betrayed and hurt struggles to defend themselves from the two guardians that have guided and walked every step of life with them.. Confused..

Just like that.. I lost puppy.. his parents found out and our relationship ended on the spot.. 3 months to 2 years together just ended like that.. I'm banned from seeing or talking to him, every physical evidence of our relationship erase within the hour.. He is probably going to be transferred back to Malaysia just to further enforce the no contact rule.. So there goes everything. The plan to move in with me just burned away, the future we planned is gone.. Way to start new years crying in my room for hours right?..

Whats the point in living when you can't love who you want, or be loved for who you are?

Even if we get out of this, when the time comes I'll face the spot light myself.. Why drag Puppy through another one?..

Ending the year with a broken heart. Feeling heavy, hollow, confuse... So many things I have planned and foresee but this was never one of them.. Not so soon anyway.

To anyone reading my blog on new years eve, have a good new year!

Close the last page of the book today and start a new story tomorrow.

My love story however, just got cut short..

Good luck of the new years.