Thursday, 31 May 2012

232 : Inappropriate Terms : Top and Bottom

Went for barbeque dinner recently with mum and siblings at a small Korean restaurant.
It was buffet style so you can imagine how crazy we went with unlimited supply of meat as our tummies can fill.

Due to religion, my mum and brother don't eat beef. So we had to separate the beef with everything else. Since the plate was tilted to allow the oil to drip off, we decided to put the beef towards the lower end and the others on the top.

When it was time to change the bottom sheet of paper, the worker transfered everything on the hot plate on to a plate, mixing up all the meat in the process. When putting back everything, the term "Top" and "Bottom" suddenly became in use.

Instead of saying beef, my mum insisted to use the word bottom, and the other meats top, since the "beef area" is technically lower. So the whole table was "TOP! BOTTOM! TOP! BOTTOM!!"
Its not suppose to be awkward but i think being extremely familiar to the terms "top or bottom", it just puts damn lot of random images in my head which made me feel.. weird...

Really wrong terms to use...



Wednesday, 30 May 2012

231 : Childhood memories.

*Ring Ring*
The sound of our pattering feet fill the house as my brother and i rush towards the ringing house phone.
I picked up the phone, both taking a deep breath, it begin..

"Twinkle twinkle little star!! How i wonder what you are!! Up above the world so high like..."
Totally ignoring the hellos' of the person on the other side, we go on singing on the top of our lungs. We were polite boys though, ending with a "Thank you, Bye bye", before putting down the phone.

We were 5, you can't blame us..
Upon finding out the number of people to fall victim to our nursery rhyme concerts , we were banned from answering the phone for a good few years..


Was having dinner with Mum and siblings today when the topic of our childhood life came up. All the little funny things that we could remember just left us laughing throughout dinner. So i decided to blog a few of them out before they go into a little box in my brain, never to be open again.. 

Around the same time as our singing over the phone, obviously before we were caught, we received a call. My sister picked up and there wasn't any sound on the other side. It was clear the phone had problems but we were too young to know.  My sister called my brother and I over and we started screaming the most random things over the phone. One of which was our favourite line : 'Put your head in the toilet bowl and flush it!'. I don't remember which program we got that from but i think we said it a good few times over the phone. When we got bored, we just hanged up.. And that's when it happen..
We could hear heavy foot steps upstairs and that could only mean one thing, mum is angry. She stomped down the stairs and screamed : "YOU TOLD YOUR AUNT TO DO WHAT??? FLUSH HER HEAD DOWN THE TOILET BOWL??". Being the oldest, my sister took full responsibility, of denying everything..  And we got away with it..


In the year 2000, something happened and my dad was hospitalized.
Still young, my sister went to visit my dad in the hospital.
He had the heart monitor finger clip on. Curious, my sister told my dad "Pa! I want that!". Before anyone could say anything, she pulled it out and started clipping it on her own finger.
The nurses rushed in in the state of panic. The electrocardiography machine was in the familiar dead person straight line because my sister pulled out the monitor..


Apparently, i used to wind down the car window when i was young and and scream 'Hi' to random girls by the road side.. Thank god i dint say that to guys huh?

Just a few memories that i wanted to immortalized in my blog for the future.
Any prominent memories of your own?


Tuesday, 29 May 2012

230 : Gay Land

Australia is such a gay land.
The number of rainbows that appear over the last month..

In Malaysia, our polluted air unfortunately don't produce many rainbows..
Being a typical Malaysian, jumping up and down, squealing in excitement when i saw a clear rainbow for the first time..
The second time.. the third time.. fourth..
Now I'm just numb from rainbows..

Here are a few pictures i snapped :

Full arch double rainbows!
The second faded rainbows are inverted,
similar to the LGBT flag!

Such a gay gay land,
For a gay gay boy..


Monday, 28 May 2012

229 : Carelessness

During a moment of absolute focus,
The brain just blanks out the surroundings,
allowing total focus and attention.
Thats when the carelessness happens.

My mum decided to come over to Melbourne to help me and my siblings during this exam period. Having limited number of rooms, she is sleeping in my room during her month's stay. Of course i didn't mind, it is my mum anyways but as a result, my sense of privacy that i have became a custom to for the past 4 months was forfeited. 

Yesterday, Sam(The guy i rejected, or in this case, is about to reject) asked me if i would like to skype with him for the first time.
He has been showing obvious signs of affection towards me and i really didn't know what to do.
I clearly have no intention of responding to it and though i made it clear, he was persistent.
Maybe the next blog post i would talk about him.
Anyways, i agreed to the skype call. I really wanted to clear everything out with him as soon as possible. He private messaged me near midnight asking if i was available for the call. My mum had already slept and my brother was in the living room. Of all days he hid in his room at night, he picked yesterday to stay outside. So i toke his call in my room.

At first i talked really softly, trying to not awake my mum, but as the conversation went on, i guess i kinda got carried away and my volume returned to normal.

Today when i was alone with my sister, i told her about what happened yesterday. Her replied just send a wave of panic through my whole body. My mum heard my conversation with Sam yesterday. To what extend she heard, i am unsure but she asked my sister about it. About my relationships, about what is troubling me, and was the person i skyping with, a guy.

I can't believe how careless i was..
My sister shrugged it off, telling my mum she don't know anything.
I am not ready for my parents to find out... :(


Sunday, 27 May 2012

228 : Rejection

The feeling of rejecting someone..
The feeling of telling someone things you know will hurt him..
The feeling of seeing his smile change to a frown..

I am really really not good at this..
It fucking sucks to see someone so sad because of what i am saying..
What i am conveying to him..

I feel like crying..

Friday, 25 May 2012

227 : "I miss you"

The pounding and the heaviness of my heart grew as i just sat there..
Thinking about everything, about him and I..
Depressed and sad status updates flood my twitter and facebook as i try desperately to overcome these feelings..
The feeling just drove me crazy to the point i just gave up.
I grabbed my phone and texted him,
I typed out the content of the text oh so quickly,
Its already familiar to myself as it just overpowers all my thoughts.

" I Miss You. :( "

The 3 letters accompanied by a sad face emoticon, 
to show the grief i feel from his absence..
I hit send and my mind just goes blank in anticipation of his reply..

It never comes...
My message ignored even though i see him online..
And it just stabs a thousand blades through my heart.

A memory from my past that just stayed so vividly in my mind..
Yet it has already been almost 3 months since it happened..

It happened so often last time, and yet i never understood why...

I was in class today when my phone vibrated..
I checked my phone and saw the usual string of whatsapp from my dance group,
but one notification was unique..
It was from Sam..

He sent me the exact text..
"I miss you.. :(".
And i just didn't know how to reply..

I just stared at my phone,
looking at those words..
Unable to think of a single reply i could give..
That wouldn't break his heart....

Thursday, 24 May 2012

226 : Nature's Trees

The forest of trees.

At the moment of age,
the little sprouts start growing,
Its not the climate, nor the soil,
but rather nature's programming that causes this occurrence.

Soon, the forest grows throughout the entire region,
covering almost every inch of land,
cutting off light to the pale ground.

Most people leave the forest alone,
only coming back to cut down unnecessary trees to keep it in control,
some people however, see more benefits in the land,
resulting in the deforestation and the flattening of the land.
Nevertheless, the forest will never give up and continues to grow on the land.

Baby ah.. I regret cutting down the forest..
Walking around with your underwear band brushing against the growing stubs,
I felt like dying from the itch.
Scratching your pubic region in public is not an option right?
Although i love the sexiness of the smooth skin, the itch is unbearable..
So i guess only trims for me from now on..
Or i should stop wearing underwear..
Either one..

How do people bare shaving it??

Itchy boy,

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

225 : Friendly Advice.

Being one of the active members from my club,
I have a varsity jacket with my name across the back with the club's initials on the front.
Its one of my pride and joys to wear it.
Brought it over from Malaysia and surprisingly it manages to hold the scent of home which just makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside when i wear it.

Since varsity jackets are in fashion, i wear it often like everyone else.
What i learn about wearing clothing with your name exhibit for the whole world to see..


Especially on weekends..
I was walking on a quite street last Friday night, i heard someone call my name.
I turned and saw two white guys, about 23 years old'ish.
They were obviously high(hope with legal stuff) and they started asked me what it meant.
I replied saying it was my name, something made me feel that they aren't the mischievous type.
They were quite funny though. One of them asked me is my surname "Melton" before the other hit him and said "Thats your name!!". Then they both burst out laughing.
I wish them a good night and walked a different direction and they did the same.

And then it hit me..
No wonder i didn't feel scared..

Anyways, Imagine if i met with drunks or something.. Then i better run..

Careful when on the streets!
I had a friend that got beat up here..
Guess Australia isn't that safe either.

Stay Safe,

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

223 : Eavesdropping

Eavesdropping, listening into people's private conversations.
A little habit I have since the beginning of my memory.
I must be a quite high level in eavesdropping now.

You can hear the funniest of things for eavesdropping.
Some of the funniest ones I remember.


In pavilion, a mum to her about 18 year old son while heading to the underwear departarment,

"I swear, you have an underwear obsession. Do you have to buy one box every time??"


On a bridge over looking and art museum(looks like an Eiffel tower),
This guy was leading a small group around the city.

"And that unique looking building there is the... er... I forgot.. 
Moving on..."


On the train.
2 Malaysian guys talking in the train.

"You put too much then it's like you don't feel anything"
"Yea, what brand condom do you use?"
"Durex lo.."
"Eh, you know i had one friend lost it in the car."
"Isn't that illegal?"
"Yea, but i did it 4 times back in Malaysia."
"You not scared getting caught meh?"
"Not really la, cause I'm on top and she is at the bottom mah, so i can look out the windows while doing it lo."
"Maybe i should try it one day lo, hopefully my girlfriend would want to do it too."
"Yea, its quite fun, you should try."
And they went on and on about how they had sex with their girlfriends and the train reached the last stop so bohoo, i didn't get to listen everything. But seriously.. Malaysians on the train.. Giving us a bad name in Australia..

Just few conversations i distinctively remember. 
Anyone got the habit of eavesdropping too?


Monday, 21 May 2012

223 : Out!

Anyone recognizes this show? 

That's So Raven, by Disney starring Raven Symone. Was one of my favourite shows when i was younger. Typical kid's sitcom, with two female friends and one male friends getting through highschool and i would used to look forward to each episode hilarious episode.

The series ended in late 2007 and the celebrities' popularity died down.
But recently, the main star, Raven Symone as came out as Lesbian!
She is with model Azmarie(from American Next Top Model) and is living happily.


Kudos to her and the way she is handling everything.
Hopefully the press would leave her alone soon.
May she live a happy life with her partner!


Sunday, 20 May 2012

222 : Losing faith?..

Our type of relationship..
Same sex relationships..

A few friends were talking to me about these on separate occasions..
About how they lost faith in gay relationships..
How it never lasts, where it always ends in a heart break..
And we will grow old alone.
Do you think it's true?..

One friend of mine told me he wish he was born straight,
He is still desperately trying to fall in love with girl, hoping one day he can change his preference.
It may sound a futile effort but you can't blame him..

A few years ago a Malaysian couple stayed in uk unlawfully.
They applied for refugee statues and were granted it on the stance that their country forbids their type of relationship.
They were so amiable in a way, running away together due to a forbidden relationship,
The relationship however, became bitter soon after..
An example on how the strongest of hearts could just be broken like that..

Stereotyped gay relationships are where dicks run the whole thing, 
When you get bored you just move on and find another.
So often..
Most relationships never even last past 1 year..
Some people even says that gay relationships should be counted differently,
Something like cat years or dog years. 

Gay relationships are the sweetest in my opinion though.
How 2 individuals manage to overcome all the challenges a LGBT individual face,
And manage to find happiness.
But is it only temporary?

The government have a part to blame for all these,
If it was treated more equally like other straight relationships, we wouldn't face so much of these problems..
If marriage would be allowed, gay relationships would be recognized as a real relationship and less breakups would occur out of plain meaningless reasons.
And if we manage to get child rights couples would have more reasons to stay together for the sake of the child too.. 
In a way, locking down the relationship..

I'm just trying to stay hopeful..
That I would find someone that last..
That I would not fall victim to a stereotype relationship. 
Since last time I guess I'm just scared..
Having flings just so I can feel better but what good is that..
I'm just feeling more depressed before..
I never cried so hard before, yet I just don't know why..

"It's better to grow old rich and alone rather then growing old poor and alone. Studies comes first" 

Hope I can take my own advice.. 
Exams are soon..


Friday, 18 May 2012

221 : Monster

I had a close friend during high school, let's rename him Yew.
Yew was always the popular type, famous for his captivating voice that captured the hearts of many.
Tall guy, about one head taller then my short frame, swimmer's build, not bad looking and an narssistic in nature.  

During form 4, I had change my class about one week after the start of the year,
When I entered the already full class, there was only one sit at the end corner of the class, right next to Yew.
So I sat next to him and we got close. Funny habit of his is that he would love to bite people's shoulder, and siting next to him I always fell victim to his jaw. 

During the middle of the first semester, the nickname "Monster" surfaced in our form. All the guys started calling Yew a monster. And I soon found out why..

Was in chemistry class one day when I found out the reason.

"Eh eh.. Look!", he whispered to me while tapping my shoulder.
I shrugged it off knowing my chimisrty teacher's personality, penalties as heavy as death when you are caught not paying attention. 
"Eh.. See...", he attempted to get my attention again. 
"What..", I whispered to him as i gave up.

I looked at him and was seriously unprepared for what I was about to see.

His eyes lead me to look down and he spread open his legs wider under the school desk.
I could see the silhouette of a full hard on of his package under his school pants.
He pressed his hands around the sides of it to make it more obvious.

FUCK!! He was freaking hung!!

Wearimg boxers you could just see the whole thing.
I was baffled, shock and just plain confuse.
It was like the my train of thought just crashed into a horny tunnel and what ever chemistry I was trying to process just flew out the window. 
I calmed myself and sat up straight, desperately hiding my growing erection.

"What la you!!", I said in a soft voice, hoping my teacher don't hear me.

He just giggled to himself.

I don't know did I manage to contain myself but damn was I excited. 
Obviously my eyes was glued to his hard member because our teacher actually noticed.

"YEW!!! LEO!!!" WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING??" she screamed. She stopped the whole class and starting walking towards our table. In my mind was  'I'm dead.. Caught by the teacher looking at someone's dick.. There goes my high school life. I'm going to be sent for counseling, my mum will kill me'.  With all the worst case senerios were going through my head, you can imagine the little men in my brain running frantically and aimlessly around the office like brain structure like those cartoon shows, trying to find an excuss to cover up. We both just wore the blank look on our faces knowing we were in trouble. 

She came over and stood by Yew's side of the isle.

"Where is it?", she asked with a fierce voice. 

She processed to ravage through Yew's desk. We were both literally confuse while Yew just pressed his Chemistry text book on his lap, probably saving the teacher from a heart attack too. Then she stopped.

"Where is the book?", she questioned both of us.. We just gave her a blank face not knowing what she is asking for.

"If i catch you doing other subject's homework in my class you know what will happen ah..", she said as she gave up and went back to teaching.

She thought we were looking at "homework" on Yew's lap.. LOL! Safe!
We both looked at each other and giggled to ourselves.

Anyways, throughout form 4, i got to see the "homework" often, grabbed it a few times too! But sadly he isn't one of us and we drifted apart in form 5 when he started mixing with the asshole gang of the form..

So that's how he got his name "Monster". He was also know as eel once..
Boxers with a seaweed pattern on it and he pulled it all the way down till the boxers revealed everything but the head.. So yea.. the eel is thick too..

Miss him!
Just something a blogger reminded me off few days ago..


Thursday, 17 May 2012

220 : Self-reflection

I am a slut at heart.
Given the opportunity I would love to go out and go wild with any and every possible guy out there. 
If there aren't any STDs or HIV around I'm sure a lot of use would go wild too! Imagine the wildest of orgies.. 
That being said, I have principles and made a promise to myself that I would never become one. 
I feel like the White Queen from Alice and Wonderland, calming myself and hiding in fear I can't control my true nature if it were to be release, ultimately ruining my life in the process. 

A little slut in me leaked out a while back, hooking up with a stranger and going to his place for a "swim".
He gave me his number and on a Monday morning, I went to his apartment and...
We swam. 
Yup. Swam a few laps and it was nice.. 
It was what we did before swimming., 
Well, that I would leave it up to your imaginations..

I am an attention whore too.
One of the partial reasons I love to dance.
The second a person gives me the right amount of attention,
We have a winner! You win....  part of my heart.
Dumb isn't it? 

It's hard to take back what is given away..

Fuck those that gave them back..


Happy International Day against Homophobia and Transphobia!!
May 17.
May this day bring awareness to everyone about the degree homophobia and transphobia to people around the world. :)

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

219 : Random Convo

Was having a random conversation with Malimo today morning.
Todays convo just made me giggle to myself during my lecture.. lol! 

Anyone willing to help malimo live his dream? lol!
Funny thing is after class, i went shopping with my sis and i did get a 2 in 1 shaver and trimmer.. Haha, guess who is going to be busy today?

On another note,
Happy Teachers Day!!
I miss my add-math teacher. Even though i failed 5 out of 5 of her exams. She never gave up on my hopelessness and incapability of  numbers and still thought me and gave me extra classes eventhough my mum already had given up hope. I still got an A for SPM.. haha
And also to my english teacher that i had out to in form 4 and was still damn cool about it.
I miss you both!
The rest of the teachers too..

Hope you had a good Wednesday like how i had!
Lots of Love,

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

218 : Flirtationship.

Flirtationship  Noun [flurt-tee-shuhn-ship]
  1. A relationship where both individuals flirt obsessively but nothing will happen between them.
  2. More then friendship, less then relationship.

Flirtationship. Anyone in one currently?
I am in a flirtationship with someone. Pinky promises, playing rock paper scissors and a good night kiss before sleeping everyday, all over skype. Yup, he is in Malaysia. That i really don't mind. We just flirt and tease(non sexual) each other alot. I'm clearly not expecting anything to happen between us currently but maybe when i get back to Malaysia things might unfold.

In the mean time. Someone has been trying really hard to persuade me to say yes to him. I don't know what he sees in me that made him hold on like this. As if you think 2 rejections would be enough. He only met me over facebook too! But anyways, he made an agreement with me. I will never ask him to stop or go away, he can try his best to persuade me but i don't have to acknowledge his persuasion methods. When he gets tired, he will move on or the other way round..

I think i just gave someone rights to flirt..

He was talking to me yesterday and i nearly did something that made me wonder what have i become.. I nearly flirted with him. I really have no idea what I am doing these few days. Would the feeling of exile and loneliness from this foreign land actually make me play with his heart? No. I will never do such things.

There is a thin line between loving someone for that person and loving due to loneliness. And i better get myself together before i become the one thing i hate the most.


Finally got half my wings! Passed up all my assignments for the semester. Another half will be after my exams.. haha!  Realize i missed alot of interesting blog posts for the pass week... Have a good tuesday!

Monday, 14 May 2012

217 : Stuck in the Middle.

Ever got stuck between two people's conflict and don't know what to do?
Both sides tell you their part, both having their stand and both not in the wrong.
Siding either of them just seems unfair for the other..

While talking to a friend recently, he told me about a problem he was facing.
A close friend of his stopped talking to him completely, without an apparent reason.
He was quite bump and down about it as they were previously very close.
Although he kept his friend anonymous, i knew who he was referring too, and the reason too..
I felt bad.. the fact that i couldn't say anything..  Both parties told me things and i can't tell either of them..

Another is between my close friends, the were in the relationship before but broke up a while back.
The guy obviously still likes her and he does the sweetest things in my opinion for her..
The girl however, doesn't feel the same.. And they both tell me stuff too..
You cant expect the girl to be in a relationship when she doesn't feel the same way right?
Anyways.. Stuck in the middle.. I really wish i can advice them but its impossible to give an advice without being bias to one's feelings knowing how both of them feels..

For the first story, i'm just going to sit aside and hope it unfolds by itself..
The second however..


Sunday, 13 May 2012

216 : New bloggers!

Wee! So many new bloggers coming up!!~
A friend of mine recently started a blog too!

Zumpling Zoodles!! Hehe! Making me hungry! :P

Other interesting new bloggies that came up recently!
Jason's corner (The 3rd jason?. lol)
Shadow Wind

Haha! I think i'm going nuts soon..
Brain not working.. Tehehe!

Happy Reading!


Saturday, 12 May 2012

215 : Finger

Go ahead. Put your finger on the dot..

Lol, just something really cute i found on my aimless internet scavenging..

3 assignments due one after another..
My mind is just blank most of the time now..
One more due on monday..
Time to get started!

Hope everyone has a nice weekend!
Love always,

Thursday, 10 May 2012

214 : Grudges

Do you guys hold grudges?..
I found myself not holding any grudges recently..

Honestly, i let go of grudges quite fast..
I forgive easily..
But i never have the courage to take the first step to talk to that person again..

When i get hurt, or really pissed, i just shut that person off totally..

When i was form 5, i was back stab and accused of something i did not do by a close friend of mine even though i was the one who defended her. Just sitting 2 chairs away from her in class, i can't believe i never once talked to her for almost half a year. Later, we graduated and our paths never crossed again.. I sincerely regret my decision but i don't dare talk to her again after so long..
I just don't..

I guess since that, i don't hold grudges anymore..
Life is too short to to keep a ball of hatred inside you.
Forgive, forget and pray it never happens again..
If it does, fuck you  just leave them be..


Just a little update.. Been having lots of assignments due these few days.. One due in less then 12 hours and i just barely started.. Getting really frustrated at myself for never being able to focus.. :(

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

213 : 31 556 926 ticking seconds

Exactly one year ago, a naive little young boy decided to sign up for blogger,
Ignorant to the gay world, he decided to start a plu blog,
Lying on his living room floor,
The puzzled boy struggle to answer 2 questions :'Blog Url'? 'Blog Title'?
He decided to use the term "Parkinreverse" as a url, since its catchy, after watching a youtube video. And a friend told him "thanks for letting me RANT to you.". Tadahh! "Ranting of the Boy." was born.
Typing out his first post titled "friendship or truth" after being constantly nudge by a guy he fancied, in fear he will lost a friend if he told the truth.
Within that year, he came out to him and they were still close.

Man.. i grew so much in a year!
I learned so much,
how people act, how people can change, how to stay strong, to forgive and never hold love grudges, and to be more matured in mind.

Little history on why i started blogging.
The first blog i started reading was the blog of Simon Lover, of course for the same reason most people read his blog. For the kinky adventures he has and the drool stimulating pictures he posted. Checking everyday for his next update, and always impatient for the next post. But soon, I found the blogs of Clayden and Tuls. I was genuinely jealous of the love stories they posted daily, wishing i would get my chance one day, to have someone to share my day with, to have little stories to tell and immortalize in writing form..  And so the idea of starting a blog slowly grew and months later i actually started one. I started posting the little problems i had and stories i had to tell, then it lead to heart breaks and recovery. I am still patiently waiting for the time i will have someone to share little stories with.. In the mean time, i shall remain hopeful.

I am really glad i started this blog. I met so many people from blogging.
Some that i even grew close to and many that helped me through hard times.
You know who you are!

Hope everyone will have a good day today.
Happy Birthday my dear blog!
Happy Birthday to my beloved Sister!

Lots of love,

Sunday, 6 May 2012

212 : Family?

Family, cousins, aunts and uncles.
We are suppose to be close even though we are an extended family.


All those assholes just love to come and suck what ever benefits they can get from my parents.
Want to come up to Malaysia from Singapore?
Sure, Who needs a hotel, just stay at my home and my room.
That, i don't mind but when you choose the most expensive restaurant to eat dinner, order suckling pig, abalone and every fucking expensive thing on the menu and expect my dad to pay? FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!  That few thousand ringgit spend on feeling your stomach for one dinner only (Not to mention the few thousand for your other meals) might be nothing to you but my parents aren't working and my other siblings and I are in Melbourne. You are from Singapore, your currency is already so powerful and you make my parents pay.

Being here, i've already became damn stingy with money. Everything here is x3 the price. Everyone goes, "Dont convert la, just buy what ever you want". Fuck you! You don't know the financial burden i would incur if spend like i am in Malaysia, it wouldn't be right, those aren't my money, its my parents. If i work here and earned local currency, that would be another story.

Another stupid ass is my uncle.
Been leeching of my parents since beginning of time. Dad had to pay for almost everything, including his wedding. Then he just decided to back stab my dad few years ago and made his way with pockets full of money. The damn house you are staying in its not even yours, its my sisters. And do you pay rent? No. Living for free. And when my mum ask for 1k rent a month, you conveniently decided to ignore her. Its only 1k!! Don't fucking lie that you dont have money, you need to pay for your child's fees and blah blah blah. If you are really are that financially constraint, your son wont be posting'

"Yay, dad is going to buy me a new car!"
"Tequila shots! Awesome night tonight!"
"Should i buy a new phone?"
"Going clubbing again today!"

Yea, your child's fees huh?
Each year at chinese new year they would come for the reunion dinner, they would just take all the expensive food they can find, then leave the rest. Chicken, fish and vegetables will always have lots of remainder. Seafood however. Always finished by them. A thank you after dinner every year? Never.
My mum spends a few days preparing and cooking everything and she doesnt even get a thank you. She works so hard at it and you can see how stress she is about it, everyday going to the market and going around buying things for the dinner. You can see how tired she is... :(

Conclusion is, my dad's side of the family are all money sucking assholes.
They come and suck as much money as they can before leaving everytime.

And for god's sake. Cant you guys ever say a word of "Thank you" to my parents when you decided to use their money?

Fuck you!!

When the time comes, My sister and I will claim back what ever is rightfully my parent's for them. Just you wait!!

Saturday, 5 May 2012

211 : Sad Songs

Sad songs.
They are there for a reason.

A while back i believed sad songs just pulls you further into a dark hole you have fallen into.
Some people believe that when you are feeling down, you should listen to your favourite songs or rather upbeat songs to bring you out of the depression. That is true to some extent but it brought a horrible side effect, I can never listen to that song anymore.

Don't get me wrong i still love that song but each time i listen to that song it reminds me of a memory i do not wish to remember. Listening to it on repeat almost every moment made me feel better, pumped up and hyped up back then. But now, every beat, tune or lyrics was just infused to that hurtful memory that it permanently changed the mood of that song to me.

So anyways, sad songs are there for a reason. Listen to them when you are feeling down. Thousands of sad songs in the world and there are almost one for each situation ; Broke up but still love each other, One sided break up, I want you back, I hate you for what you did, You cheated on me, etc. Just have to find the right song. Listen to it all you want, it somehow makes you feel like you aren't alone and when the time comes, you will stand up and walk proudly again, leaving the song behind too.

Imagine you go clubbing and the upbeat song you use to clear your depression plays, instant depression.

So use that sad song.


Friday, 4 May 2012

210 : A Poem.

Finger swirls like a violin,
Cold and easy,
the touch on the skin.

Follow the road made by nature past,
The little trail the snail had pass,
Deeper down that forest path,
To be blocked by a rubber's wrath.
With a little force, a full hand of five,
Can't go over so you'll just have to dive,
The warm place scared and "pure",
You just can't help but to take a tour.

Rustling, and searching,
The deeper you go,
To find the treasure,
No no, not gold,
But something more,
Alive with a warmth,
With blood rushing through,
A familiar shape forms.

With a throbbing one of your own,
You grabbed the treasure like you're in the zone,
And all the responds is a soft, long,


209 : Ready?

Am I ready?
To let someone take my heart again?

To the guy that started calling me "teddy bear", heck no.

But that guy that started wishing me good morning and good nights..
I know he isn't a good guy..

I am that unstable huh?..

Everyone that ever ever show interest in me only had interest for a short period of time..
1 month at most..
Soon la.. Will be ignored as everyone else.

Thursday, 3 May 2012

208 : Breathless!

A friend of mine recently discuss about how annoying is it for a person to not use any punctuations when writing a paragraph it makes the reader just reads and they can't stop reading out of an impulse like now i don't think you can stop reading because you are waiting for a fullstop or a comma to catch your breath i found it really funny how everyone just reads the paragraph without stopping and at one point they have a inner battle with themselves to stop reading or continue i myself had that feeling even when reading what i have typed out anyways this is just something interesting to me certainly beats the hwo poelpe hvae teh atiilby to raed wrdos wtih jumlbe up ahelabepts anyways isn't this post simply


Leonut.  :P

In. Addition. To. Removing. Punctuations,. Adding. FullStops. At. Every. Word. Increases. The. Time. Taken For. Everyone. To. Read. A. Short. Sentence. Too!. Quite. Funny. and. Fun. Eh?.

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

207 : Conversations

How not to start a conversation.

"Hey.. Top or bottom?"


"You single?"

"Want to have sex?"

"Can you be my boyfriend?"

"You make me horny"

If this was grindr or jack'd, fine, you are excuse. But on places like facebook?
If you can calm your dick and think about it for a while, facebook and emails aren't medias to satisfy your desperate self..

Have some self pride to cover your desperateness please.
At least get to know that person first..


Tuesday, 1 May 2012

206 : The awkward gap

First time meeting someone online is always awkward for me.
I never seem to be able to get the conversation rolling no matter what and i always always comes out as me being shallow and unfriendly.

That i am okay with. As i get to know people more i usually redeem myself, earning the title of talkative to most people(time may wary to each individual). But there is one awkward moment that i can never seem to overcome.
I have no idea why but this has been happening to me a lot lately. The moment i met someone online, i would exchange a few words before something would come up, going out for dinner for example, a movie, or grocery shopping, which has all happened before.

Right after I'm back i feel like it would be awkward to continue the conversation. The few words exchanged before hand is insufficient to start a conversation topic, thus killing the chances of a friendship ever sparking.

Its like you are trying to start a fire with spark-rocks, the second you get ember you had to go attend something else and when you get back, the ember has already burned all the dry wood through, leaving you with nothing to burn and no fire!! The horror!

Another awkward moment is when the other party just stops replying.. And you don't know to change the topic or too just let the conversation end..

I shall call it the awkward gap.


Awkward Gap  adjective  [awk-werd gap] (Leonut's definition)
  1. The moment a conversation between two individual is too awkward to be continued by the lack of conversation topics 
  2. The prolonged period of time between the first conversation and the follow up conversation that will never be started due to the gap itself.


My favourite hand gesture to use. Especially around my friend's parents or when i am a 3rd party to a couple..  lol..

Do you guys experience the awkward gap like i do?..