Monday, 31 December 2012

338 : Closed!

Being right behind the crowded lift, he's hand creeped over. Slowly but confidently, his pinky grabbed mine and with one smooth move, he held my hand. We said nothing but simply enjoyed the brief "private" moment between floors, secretly praying nobody turn around.

I can honestly say that the highlight of the year was the beginning.
But moments don't last forever sadly.

Looking back, I changed so much this year.
I'm no longer the naive boy that allowed people to play emotionally anymore.
I learned being a goodie two shoes won't get you anywhere but pushed around.
That you can't put all your eggs in one basket, and the one that hurts you the most are the one closest to you.

This year i lost myself completely, found it back and lost it again..
I can say i'm quite lost where my life is heading now..

I lost my love and some things i can never gain back.
I gained a lot of new experiences, gained new friends as well as got closer to others.

Funny thing is after a year i still can't figure out why i yearn for a relationship so badly. No one died of loneliness before right?? At least not anyone my age i'm sure.

So in a few hours time, i'm closing this book of memories and leaving it behind. Taking only the lessons i need to the future years.

See you guys next year?

I loved you, I miss you,

Saturday, 29 December 2012

337 : Thank you! and the Secret Garden

Morning started with the daily struggle out of bed.
A quick bath and it was off to meet Jboy for the continued jockstrap hunt!
Unfortunately, the jockstraps we found were incredibly expensive even with a discount!
Anyone willing to buy me a jockstrap? My birthday is soon.. LOL 

Anyways, had a chance to meet up Danny and got the contest prize.
Can't say this enough but thank you for the lovely wrapped gift!
I tried unwrapping it carefully but the paper still ripped. :(
Talking to Danny, we discovered something about him we never knew.. =X
Apparently i look much more boyish than he imagine.. Don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing..

Snow white Christmas Present!

Visited the Secret Gardens of OneUtama. I never knew such place existed..
Anyone else been there before?

Leave it to Jboy to sign the guest book huh?.. -.-''
Such a romantic place to go for a date!
Gonna visit there again soon! Maybe with a date. =P


Friday, 28 December 2012

336 : Christmas Gifts

Sad to say due to my family, being a typical traditional chinese family, We don't celebrate Christmas.

The only form of gifts i would ever get would be once a year in a small red packet in form of cash.

That being said, this recent two years, a group of friends been organizing a Secret Santa event. Not sounding ungrateful or anything but i have been getting really miscellaneous useless gifts such as a feather boa for my secret santa. Like what?? What am i going to do with a feather boa?? Sheeesh!
I gave nice useful gifts okay? A scarf to a friend studying in UK last year and a softtoy to a stuffedtoy maniac this year.

My best friend has a really unique taste in gifts for me. Last year for Christmas, she got my a pair of earphones as well as... condoms... Strawberry ones in fact.

Strawberry "shields" from body shop
Unfortunately, I never got to use them. To taste or allow to be tasted. Lol, Volunteers?

This year.. She got to me boxers.
Captain America boxers. She told me she got me Captain America so i can be a superhero inside. And also, because she bought me a "shield" last year to match his shield..

I'm not sure if she is hinting anything, but i like the direction she is going with my gifts. Curious to see what she would get me next year..
Yes, she knows i'm gay. lol
So what did you guys get for Christmas this year?


Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

P.s. I just found out how sexy some of my readers are.. Tehee!

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

335 : Touch.

Physical touch.
The one catalyst of a relationship that pushes everything forward.
The element that causes the downfall of me.

I'm sorry..
The speed that everything was moving, I'm was really just overwhelmed.

We both knew this was coming..

A language of love,
The one i'm always deprived of..

"Hey there Delilah, don't you worry about distance,
I'm right there if you get lonely give this song another listen, 
close your eyes, listen to my voice it's my disguse,
I'm right by your side"

I'm sorry..

Monday, 24 December 2012

334 : Hobbit?

What initially was a plan to search for eye candy and jockstraps with Jboy became a movie outing with Jboy, Alex and Tempus.

Watched the Hobbit with them and damn i did feel like a hobbit the whole time. I'm like a small woodland creature around them.. Short little boy among the giants..

But anyways, anyone else felt the movie was over stretched?

Like the mountain scene where the titans fought. Whats the point of that?.. It didn't split them up, change the direction of the course or someone fell down. I know those are all the details of the book but kinda seemed really random.

A lot of people said it was really slow moving which i do agree but the good special effects and breathtaking scenery really kept me entertained.

And as for the outing, i can say, alex makes amazing cakes. :D


Friday, 21 December 2012

333 : Alot

A confession before it ends.
If the world ends right?

I was worried, coming back to Malaysia, I had a genuine fear of what might be waiting for me when i got home. Things i left unresolved before unravel themselves, leaving a huge tangled mess to be faced. A week before coming home itself, i was in a state of panic wondering what will happen when i see them or the bigger question, if i will actually see them.

Then i got an email 3 days before i came home from someone.
Not expecting much, a normal reply and exchange of contacts, we starting talking.
The day before i flew back, we Skyped and unknowingly, for 5 hours with not a single awkward moment. Since then, the tangled mess seemed like such a small thing. I'm not saying I used him to hide the mess but he actually made me see how inflated my worries are, that i had nothing to worry about.

Even now.. I saw the guy that hurt me the most and i don't feel the spite i did before..

Everyday 2 skype calls morning and night to each other, i really do feel happy again.

No action comes without a reaction and of course consequences.
I used to have never realize the consequences. Falling without ever thinking stuff through and just "living" in the moment left me bitten countless of times.
Just factoring everything into the equation...
The distance, the time zone, the unpredictablity of the human heart..

What i'm trying to say is, to the guy i been talking to everyday, the guy behind on the other side of the camera :
I like you alot.

I'm not asking for a relationship or anything but i just wanted to let you know how i currently feel.
If the world end, it ends.

You guys excited?..

And as the closet guy said, Happy Winter Solstice! 

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

332 : Grandma loves food

People always say grandmas are the one that spoil you.
The house that you would love to visit as a kid, where there is always plentiful food. But as for me, its the total opposite.

My grandmother is not young, having worked her whole life left her leg and back worn out as she aged. Even now, she needs a walking stick and getting into a car takes a lot of effort. Breaks my heart seeing her suffer so much but she never once look sad. She always smile no matter what, like when she gets into a car after much effort, she always smiles at me and say:

"Grandma is so old already, next time I wouldn't even be able to get in car or walk already."

Anyways, my grandma loves food!
Cutest grandma ever, she makes the oddest request of food she wants to eat.
Only recently she asked my mum for pizza, burgers, and spaghetti.
Each time my mum would buy it and take it home for her and you can see her genuine happiness when she gets to eat her favourite food.
When people get old, food is the only thing they can enjoy.
I don't get it when i see old folks already 60 over years old, being restricted on what they can or cannot eat. Why control them?

Those that are retired and just waiting to past, why not let them enjoy life? I'm not saying feed them artery clogging food everyday but why not let them enjoy the only thing they can enjoy: Food? My uncle only allows my grandparents to eat generic "old people" food, clear and no oil and honestly they don't look like they ever enjoy eating those.

I enjoy eating out with my grandparents.
Genuine happiness in a meal.

Growing more and more fonder of the cutest guy.. :)

Sunday, 16 December 2012

331 : Christmas present came early!

Christmas came early today!
Woke up in the morning to find a pretty huge box lying on a table by my front door.
With my sequel of excitement, I grabbed a blade and murdered the box, cutting between every tape holding the box together.

2 white envelopes with a ribbon inside the boxes.
The notebooks I bought from Two Horns Child have arrived!

What i can say is, there is not one bit of regret that i open the white envelopes!

Okay, Its quite pathetic i bought them for myself.. Secret Santa to myself I guess!

How are your Christmas shopping going?

Friday, 14 December 2012

330 : 14th of each month

In Korea, the 14th of each month is a different form of lover's day. (Except April)
A little tradition that couples follow to appreciate each other which seemed to have spread to a small population of Malaysia, probably due to the constant increase in Korean influence on the world.

Today, the 14th of December, is Hugging Day.
Hug your partner on this special day to show your appreciation for each other.
Just a simple cuddle or a tight squeeze to take in each other's warmth.
It takes 2 to hug and having someone there to hug is a privileged, cherish it. =)

Here are the list for the other months :
January 14: Diary Day
Couples exchange diaries as gifts, perhaps to wish good luck for the New Year.
February 14: Valentine's Day
Observed by Western cultures, women give chocolates to males.
March 14: White Day
The origin is uncertain but some maintain it originated in Japan. Men give candies to women on this day.
April 14: Black Day
The only 14th event for singles -- they get together and eat Chinese noodles, providing a cheerful occasion for those depressed about not having a significant other.
May 14: Rose Day
Couples exchange roses as gift on this day.
June 14: Kiss Day
Couples share a kiss on this day.
July 14: Silver Day
Couples give each other gifts of silver jewelry on this day.
August 14: Green Day
Couples enjoy the great outdoors with a walk in a forest or up a mountain.
September 14: Photo Day
Couples take pictures together on this day.
October 14: Wine Day
Couples enjoy drinking wine, considered exotic in Korea, on this day.
November 14: Movie Day
Couples go out for a movie together on this day.
December 14: Hug Day
Couples give each other a hug on this day.
Taken from Yahoo News

So who are you hugging today?


Wednesday, 12 December 2012

329 : 12.12. 2012

So who doesn't want to ride the 12.12.12 train where people believe something magical would happen and their wishes will come true right?

So Tadah!! Happy 12.12.12!

I had one friend said: "so what.. we had 11.11.2011 and 10.11.2012, nobody even remember what they did on that so called 'special' date. Beside we still have 11.12.2013 to look forward to and any other dates people can think of."

Lol, i feel like such a kill-joy now.. ><

Anyways, here is an advertisement video that made me laugh the first thing today.

Sexy? Gonna buy me some of those squirting cream puffs.. =P

Happy 12.12.2012!~

Sunday, 9 December 2012

328 : I became a murderer..

Since i got back i have done nothing but murder.
Clapping my hands every few mins to reveal the flatten body of the insect who's life i have taken, i feel the conflicting emotion of sadness and sadistic happiness. With the lack of mosquitoes and flies where i have been for the past 10 months, killing insects felt really weird.

I found 2 bumps on my feet and arms which is really scary. Really red tall bumps and the one of my feet appears to have fluid in it.. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE MOSQUITOES?? The mosquitoes i have killed all appear to have the signature white strips of a dengue mosquito.. Help?

I killed mosquitoes, so what right? (Someone owes me two medals for killing mosquitoes btw. =P)

My recent unintentional murder was due to self defense.
I was pinched.. really badly..

"Can you pick it up?"
"Yea sure!", with one swift move, I reached in and picked it up. "Nah!"
"You suppose to hold it like that meh? I thought you grab it there?"
"Oh really? You mean like thi- OMG! FUACK~ GET IT OFF!!! GET IT OFF!!"

If you haven't guess, i was pinched by a live crab. I never expected it to hurt so badly, i mean, cartoons show people get pinch all the time but all that happens is the pinched spot just throbs for a while and everyone beside them will just laugh.. Okay, people were laughing beside me so that i guess that is the only accurate portrayal to this situation.

Before i could even register the source of the pain, my natural reflex was to fling it off. Few hard flings later, the crab let go and was flung towards the ground and landed HARD. Everyone crowd around the crab and it was pronounce dead a few mins later. Death by concussion.

Few seconds later i found blood on the floor.. I looked at my palm and saw few tiny patches of smudge blood. Only when i turn my hand around, OMG!! I'M BLEEDINGGG~~~

So typical Asian of me, reporting every detail of my life, took out my phone to capture the damage.

I murdered a crab out of self defense. Blame the guy who sold us the crab who didn't tie the pincers properly.

I've been a monk for 10 months, living in harmony and not murdering anything and here i am killing dozens of mosquitoes and a few crabs(Yes.. a few). Don't tell me all the meat I eat are animals that were once living etc etc. When you kill a live animal for food, its a different story.

I'm waiting for my two medals, lol.

Thursday, 6 December 2012

327 : Hell, I'm home!

Waking up at 5.30am, i guess it has its benefits.
Seeing the sunrise and feeling the gradual temperature change, i finally have the chance to get used to the weather..

Walking out of the metal bird, i exhale in relief when it wasn't as hot as i imagine. Hell i was wrong..
When i got home, i was practically covered in sweat, unknowingly, i walked right into mosquito hell.

Everywhere i look, i see little black devils hovering around me, especially those right in front of my face which are practically impossible to swat. Worst thing is they look like dengue mosquitos which just makes me quite scared and paranoid. Apparently, 2 residents around my neighborhood caught dengue fever few days ago and a few of the council members came over to check for stagnant water around the house before i got back.

I better get my bio clock straight.. Dinner at 4pm, Sleep at 9pm and waking up at 5am..

Watch out for the little devils!

Who am i suppose to meet up with again?

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

326 : Jhameel!

The voice of my 8 hours, JHAMEEL!
Recently found his music and it was instant addiction.

One of the voices i can play on repeat along with ImogenHeap, Florance x Machine, Pink, OwlCity etc.
Check out his originals as well as his covers!

White Lie


How Many Lovers

Halo by Beyonce Cover

Fuck You by Cee Lo


The videos are the few of my fav songs from him especially the "Fuck You" cover!
There are alot of more really amazing original songs like "Origami Monster" as well as "Foundation".

Facebook : Jhameel *Liked!*
Website   :

Best thing is his albums are free to download. =D

Have a good 5th of December! =D

Sunday, 2 December 2012

325 : Kids, Fragile Glass and other scary things.

Confession : I have an extreme mix feelings of hate and fear towards kids. 

Yes. I'm weird like that but honestly i really don't like being in the presence of children, typically kids below 6 years young. 

They are so fragile! Worst than handling thin glass. It's like if they trip and fall they might die.. or worst.. start crying.. Just hearing the banshee screech of unsatisfaction and attention just sends me in a state of panic, I can never tell what they want or what they like. I'm just stereotypical, happy faces or soft toys, and if that doesn't work, go find Mama. 

Another thing is they absorb everything! Did you guys watch Meet The Fockers? The baby's first words were "Asshole". A similar thing happened to me once. I was talking to a friend when I swore. Unknowingly, my dance teachers' daughter wondered behind us and over heard it. She then proceeded to repeat it the way she registered the taboo word : Fourk. The second we heard it we turned around, face changed and went "oh.. my.. god.. no no no no no no no no no, not fourk! Frog! Frog right?? Frog jumping around! Froggy! Froggy". Should see our faces when she said "no, FOURK!". Took us 5 minutes of repeated jumping followed by the word "frog" to convince her it was frog.. NEVER AGAIN! Curse you sponge brain!!

I swore at a baby once.. We were eating in a restaurant where the tables were separated by a short partition. My sister went "Eh.. eh.. turn around and see." 
I turned around and screamed :"FUCK!!!!!" I was literally few inches from this freaky baby climbing the partition. His eyes were freaking huge and staring right at me. I was so freaking scared i could feel my heart pounding. I usually don't swear around little kids, but swearing at a baby, i felt terrible. 

I don't care what you guys say.. This was the scariest thing ever..

Another thing is their protective parents. When anything goes wrong, no matter is it their child's fault or yours, its YOURS!! There was this young girl, holding her dad's hand walking in front of me. She kept turning around and staring at me with this bitchy look while walking. Around the 5th time she turn around, i was so annoyed at her, I gave her the "wtf do you want" look. I was wearing a plain shirt, there was nothing special. She got pissed off and tugged on her dad's hand and complain. Like the hell.. Anyyways, when they slowed down so she could "complain", i just overtook them and walked away. SAVED!

Don't get my wrong. I love kids, the nice quiet intelligent onces, not the playful spoiled annoying brats. Seeing parents put an ipad in front of their kids to entertain and distract them when they go out for dinner, i'm really worried on how the next generation of tablet and Smartphone kids will grow up to become.

When I get my own children however, I'm gonna be that protective irrational bitch too i guess. And if i don't get my own children, I'm gonna spoil and make my sister's children fat.. =P

In the mean time, I'm gonna smile and act happy around kids.. Don't wanna be that guy that scars them for life...

Happy Sunday!

Monday, 26 November 2012

324 : You.

You are the guy i will actually admit I fell for after penguin.
The person i once look forward to talking to every day and night.

But before any proper feelings could develop, you shot me down. You told me "Why? Fell for me dy?".
Just that sentence made me feel like crap. Like i was that desperate little boy going after you..
Maybe i was? I started trying to kill off the feelings yet we still talk often.

We always sounded excited when we planned to meet, at least i was.

First time we plan to meet up.
I was on my way to meet you after uni. My train ticket was already validated since I took the train to uni and i was quite excited to finally meet you after talking about it the day before. I messaged you confirming everything before I boarded the train and you told me you had to cancel since you were busy..

The next time we planned to have dinner together, You agreed you can confirm dinner plans before 6.. I messaged you to confirm and you only replied at 7 something, by which i was already home eating dinner since it felt like you didn't want to confirm it..

Right after we both finished our exams I told you i was free on Friday, you told me you will let me know. The whole exam period you talked to me and sounded excited to finally have a chance to meet.. The whole Thursday and Friday I kept checking my phone for a confirmation reply.. Nothing...

Stood up 3 times..

It sucks how i feel damn stupid yet i'm not angry at all. Could be my own imagination of your affection towards me.
I'm often stood up but coming from you, it just hurt..

Stupid for me to be expecting anything right? You clearly told me no..
People said mean things about you but i know you aren't. You are a really nice loveable person which might just be the reason i fell..

Little more than a week till our paths will never have a chance to cross again and with that said i don't think we will meet at all.. Just.. not meant to be..

Like a friend said, I really give up finding someone. Countless times where I ever really love, I would be left broken while the other walks around undented.. It fucking sucks, it feels like there is something majorly wrong with me, like i'm really meant to be alone.. There must be something about me that kills their emotions, people don't tell you they like/love you and just take it back the next day right? Or do they?..
Nonetheless, I'm pathetic..

You found me through this blog, i wonder would you ever read this..
Missed chance.
Your banana boy,
Leonut. =(

Sunday, 25 November 2012

323 : Picture secrets and others

Lol, exactly how i take most my pictures...
The secret of the friendless and lonely is out!

His accent is just damn cool though.. Lol

Anyways, here are a few more videos that left me laughing.

Ish.. Such a busy week to come before i head to the airport.
Happy Sunday!


Friday, 23 November 2012

322 : Too high expectations?

"Leonut, your expectations are too high There are so many guys in Australia. You sure you can't find one?"

The question is, is there such thing as having a too high expectation?

I mean you are picking someone that you are suppose to love unconditionally throughout your whole life, are you suppose to just pick anyone with no expectations whatsoever for the future?..

Its just something that a lot of people have said that and i'm just wondering if its true.

Anyways, people say people you find attractive and people you date are two different type of people as i've been told..

This post is practically mindless rambling. Damn tired from work and being scolded by my head bitch manager doesn't help either.

Ultimately maybe this is an issue of the "reacher and settler" as HIMYM mentioned where a "reacher" is a person who reaches beyond their level of beauty and a "settler" a person who settles for someone below their level of beauty.

Are you a reacher or a settler?

I'm reaching for the stars million lightyears away. Gonna die not even close to the stars. lol..


Thursday, 22 November 2012

321 : Sleep

Ironically the black one is the fat one.. 
Flipping and tossing, I finally found a position i was comfortable.

One hand under my neck and the other hugging on to me, it was nice to be cuddling in bed yet the only thing i could think about was his arm falling asleep under me and him not moving his arm in-case it would ruin the 'moment'.

Trying to fall alseep on an unfamiliar bed seemed impossible.

Then it hit me..
I can't fall asleep without music..
Its been almost a year I put on a playlist to sleep everyday. Either Christina Perri, Igrid Michealson, The Script, The Wanted, Pink etc..
I was so tempted to turn on music the whole night..
I just hate the unbearable sound of the screeching ringing in my ears in the dead silence.

Waking up in someones arms... :)

I shall call him here Jun from now on.


Sunday, 18 November 2012

320 : I'm not stupid

I'm not stupid my dear colleagues.
Just because i present myself as a hyper and playful person doesn't mean what ever i say is senseless and not important.
As a matter of fact it is the other way around.

I'm stupid in your eyes just because i don't talk about the senseless crap you guys talk about?
Get a life.
Broaden your knowledge about the world and be more open minded about the things you don't know.
Just because your small feeble narrow brain of yours can't comprehend simple general knowledge i talk about doesn't make me the stupid laughing stalk in the whole conversation.
Oh no my dear colleagues.. never.

Like a simple German dish called the Pork Knuckle. Yes, it is the knuckle of a swine. People eat that. The moment i was laughed at for eating a so call "weird and disgusting" thing just made me realize how dumb all you guys are.

An arm full of tattoos is call a tattoo sleeve. Use its proper name rather then using 5 sentences that could be replaced with one simple common word. Telling me "yea, whatever, the arm tattoo things"? Yup, my respect for all of you just dropped even lower.

Been 4 months since i started working with you guys and with each passing day i worked with you all, it brought me closer to the realization that the whole group of you are just plain dumb. I'm happy i have reduced my work shifts every week yet somewhat sad to see the whole group of you "popular" kids rubbing your stupidity onto others, dumbing them down to your level.

I do prefer to sit by myself far from your lunch table because i find it completely pointless to talk to you all. Listening to you guys talk about how you get piss drunk everyday and your "adventures" to get home in your intoxicated state every night doesn't amuse me.

Don't tease and call me anti-social.

I choose not to be laughed at every word i say. Taking yesterday as another example, you guys were talking about cartilage piercings and I was laughed at for saying "industrial piercing" because non of them heard of it before. Yes dumb fucks, there are such things.

Knowledge is power, not a big mouth and narrow brain.
THINK before talking. Impression on people is key to a success.
As i dig a hole and bury my respect for you guys 6 feet under, I'm happy you guys are such a close gang knowing monkeys travel in packs.

Till the head chimp backstabs you all dumb ignorant fucks,
Lots of Love,
Leonut :)

Friday, 16 November 2012

319 : 2 faced

"Don't get too closed to her, she is going to back stab you and everyone she is close to when she needs to. Be careful"

My heart stopped when i heard a senior told me that.

I KNEW IT!! My manager is the evil warbitch of the underworld that sells people's souls!!

The moment I met my manager I could sense something off about her. The always happy helpful person she is seems unnatural. I knew she was heartless in someway, but i just didn't know how.

I was raised this way.
To be very careful with people, to analyze people and trust only those safe to trust and yesterday, I had the conformation I needed about my manager.

Everyone else seems to be damn close to her. They go out for drinks and clubs with her on a weekly if not daily basis and they tell her everything which just leads to me drifting away from them.
Yes it could be me just being paranoid but you can't be too careful right?
The senior I talked to don't work where i do anymore claiming she had some "issues". I'm willing to bet my hat that my manager back stabbed and got her fired..

So now its just come in, get my work done and leave.

Discoveries of people's 2 face-ness as the awesome Jboy has discovered as well..

Be careful of people you meet!

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

318 : Describe this 8==D O:

I was talking to my close friend yesterday.
She had her first sexual experience last week.
Sitting out in the balcony at night, it was one of the best and juiciest gossip session i ever had despite not feeling my fingers due to the freezing cold wind.

Half way in through, she manage to gather all the courage she had and asked me this..

"How does a blowjob feel like? Does it feel that good??" 

So the people of the blogsphere with a penis! Beside going "err.. it's.. different", how would you describe a blowjob?

I was very much speechless..
Best description gets a blowjob! LOL


Monday, 12 November 2012

317 : Beautiful

Simply beautiful..
I just love this song so much.
Beautifully written and meaningful lyrics.
It actually made me shed a tear. >.<


"I can't change, 
even if i tried,
even if i wanted to.
My love, my love, my love, 
She keeps me warm."

"No freedom until we are equal, damn right i support it"

"World so hateful, some would rather die than be who they are"

"No laws are gonna change us, we have to change us"

"Love is patients, love is kind"



Sunday, 11 November 2012

316 : Hot!!

I very seldom post up pictures but i just couldn't resist posting this..
Browsing the internet(9gag, teehee!) a few days ago, i saw this picture on titled 
Fashion Show Nowadays..

Is it me.. Or he is BLOODY SEXY
Get my pun?.. Bloody as in blood.. sexy because he is sex-able.. lols.... I think i need friends.. haha

Halloween costume next year done! 

Happy Sunday!

Friday, 9 November 2012

315 : Allergies

Do you guys have any allergies?
So far I don't or rather have not developed any allergies.

Was at a restaurant where my friend worked one day.
There were a group of Caucasians sitting on the table next to mine where my friend was taking their order. Everything was normal until the girl sitting closest to us told my friend her allergies.

"Here's the thing, i have a lot of allergies. I'm severely allergic to garlic. Anything with garlic in it, cooked, minced, or even in the sauced, I can't eat it. I know its troublesome but can you talk to the chef about it? Maybe you can remove the garlic. Oh and everything has to be cooked and can't be raw as well."

You should have seen my friend's face.
Its not exactly an inconvenience or something but working in the food business, its really really scary when someone tells you they have an allergy, especially those allergies such as to nuts which are so severe that their life can be taken by it.
One false move, one bad order and everything goes horribly wrong.

She got her order in the end, a plate of fried rice without garlic or anything raw.
My friend however, was stressing out as she watch her eat.
Even our table were edge of our seat wondering what would happen if her allergic reaction kicked in.

But anyways, i've been told people with severe nut allergies can't even be close to the kitchen when peanut oil is being used to cook as they will feel suffocated or something. I remember reading an article where a girl died when her boyfriend kissed her after eating a peanut butter sandwich when i was young too.. Scary huh?..

The stupidest person i've seen with allergies is this extremely spoiled bitchy girl. Her family and I shared a table for an association event, ate fish and scolded her parents because her body started itching. ITS A SEAFOOD RESTAURANT!! I think she expects to go there and 'see-food' only. Lol, get my pun?..

No wonder i have no friends.. lol..

For those people living with severe or non-severe allergies, i SALUTE you guys for being so strong and careful. Its never easy  when it comes to food.

That aside, thank you guys for the exam wishes, i still sucked at it, but oh well.. hope I get a good grade!
Have an awesome weekend! =D


Wednesday, 7 November 2012

314 : Cliché

Most cliché line I ever used :


"Aren't you suppose to be studying?"

"Yea, I told my sister I was going uni to study"

"Then what you doing here?"

"Studying Biology - Human Anatomy"

"LOLOL! Extra subject??"


Yea, after i got home, i recalled it and my face went  -_____-. Couldn't believe i actually used such a cliché line as 'study biology' on someone. I'm studying business yo! Hahaha!

It was Melbourne Cup yesterday, seeing all the different type of facinator hats worn was really cool!
Exams tomorrow!
Wish me luck!


Obama won! =D

Monday, 5 November 2012

313 : Finding Purpose.

I find myself unable to find a purpose.
If it were not for money to sustain life, would you work?

The thought of growing old just haunts me. I can't imagine myself old yet, to be unable to function properly, to be waiting for the due time.

So what is our purpose of life?
Nature made it that we can't reproduce.
Most type of work in the world now kills the earth..
Most of us will just lead an average life,
and Unfortunate enough, A lot of us will grow old and die alone.

Few years time, I'm gonna be joining the full time workforce.
Everyone has already a path set out to follow, to be exactly what they want to be when they grow up.
I still have no idea..
I mean i roughly have an idea which sector but there are so many brunches of a sector one can do..



Thursday, 1 November 2012

312 : So much for that.

In high school I had a best friend which i used to sit next to in form 5. He was more to the feminine side, but being in a Christian School, nobody talk about homosexuality and the thought of him being gay was quickly dismissed by almost everyone.
We used to be part of the rebellious group who sat at the back of the class along with few others, making smart remarks at the teachers, eating food and never finished our homework for subjects like moral and math.

After high school, all of us split up, each going to a different college for our foundation year.

You know that best friend you have, where even after months or even years of not talking to each other, the moment you guys meet again, you will be talking to each other like you guys just talked the day before?

We bloody didn't have that.

We used to talk to each other over facebook once in a while during college but it was progressively lesser and conversations were cold. Besides the new friends being made, the different schedules were also one of the reasons our friendship drifted.

Then one day, when i decided to talk to him on facebook he asked me.
"You seemed close to xxx huh?.. How did you meet him?"

That time i was actually dating xxx but I told him i was just friends with him. Without me actually knowing how, we were on the topic of homosexuality. I outted to him and him to me.


Our friendship died.. After that day, i have no idea why in the world, he stop replying my messages and all. Friendship totally DIED, buried 10 feet under the pyramids or something.

So much for sticking together right? And i thought both of us being gay would strengthen our friendship..

And today, something similar happened again..
Lol, i think i shall keep my sexuality down down down low from now on..
So much for that.

P.s. Sorry Jboy, Aiden and Soul232. Your comments a while back went into spam( I don't know why) and i didn't notice till now. I didn't delete them.. ><
P.s. Congratulations to the soon to be uncle! Haha
*monkey cover eyes* * monkey cover ears* *monkey cover mouth*

Wednesday, 31 October 2012

311: Hibby Jibbies

Happy Halloween Everyone!
I personally love Halloween, get to dress up and all. Just too bad Malaysians seldom celebrate it for the fun of it.

I previously typed out a ghost encounter that happened to my mum during her labor period in the hospital. You know how pregnant women are prone to "unclean" encounters especially in the hospital? Well yea.. My mum had a really bad experience. But i think i shall keep family stories to family.

Anyways, exams are here, everyone is busy mugging.
I missed the big Halloween clubbing party due to an exam, curse the early papers..

Look what i got?
Awesome no?

Was suppose to be my Halloween "costume", what better day to wear on a FAKE industrial piercing. Lol.
But nah.. I shall keep it for special occasions!

Exams exams exams, no time for anything.. =/

Happy Halloween!
Candies and tricks!

Monday, 29 October 2012

310 : Once bitten, Twice shy, Trice?

Exams are here..
Studying through the late night when the my phone whatsapp notification rang..


Someone i never expected to hear from..
Its been almost 7 months since i last talked to him..

He didn't sound like his happy self he used to be, the "..." at the back of each sentence sent to my phone which set a sad tone for the whole conversation.

He watched Wong Fu's "The Last". I guess that video served it's purpose.
Who, What, When, Where, Why, triggering every memory of loving and loss a person could have, or rather what they wished to have..

He told me he did something stupid, where he lost someone he really loved, that he was scared he wouldn't be accepted again..


The boy you talked to me about, the boy studying abroad in Melbourne, the boy you hurt so badly, breaking his heart in every way possible. I know it's not me.. I wouldn't be, and i would never be..
Everything you made me believe last time was never what it seemed.. The person you told me you loved was someone else when i was with you.. I actually believed it was me.. It was foolish of me..
A lot of people told me you are a mean person, where you go around breaking people's hearts.. But hey, see it in another way.. Everyone is just finding that right person, and you are too. I guess people just fall deeper for you than you for them..
I know you can make it up to him.. Good luck..
Lots of Love... 

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

309 : Why i'm scared.

Well basically, as long as in can remember, i always had a fear of people's boyfriends. I never knew why, or never put much thought into it.

So today, i had the sudden urge to talk to honey bunny, its been weeks since i last talk to him and all. Miss him. But as i wanted to hit send on whatsapp i deleted the message.. then it hit me! i realize the problem and the cause of my fear. Lets have a story telling session.


Long long time ago.
*water ripples on your constructed imaginary image arriving to a flashback along with harp music*

When i was still a young, naive form 2 little boy, i had a close girl friend, i had many more close friends but we shall focus on this young girl for now.

One day, she got into a relationship with a form 3 guy which was one of the cutest guy in school. Narrow slanty eyed, refined jaw line, charming smile type of guy. That time, i wasn't interested in guys yet so i never bother about him. I still remained close to her. During lunch and break, i often would be talking with her when he had his prefect duties on.

Like every fairy tale in my book, they broke up months after. He told her he had feelings for someone else. She changed after that, who wouldn't? After that we drifted apart.

One day in form 4, 2 years later, a friend of mine told me the real reason they broke up. Apparently i was spending too much time with her, and he was really uncomfortable with that thus the break up. It was a stupid reason of course. What? The dormant whore'mones in me ain't gonna do anything that time..

So yea, in my fairytale, without knowing it, i was the villain. Of course he was a sensitive bitch, at least he could have let me know. I still took it quite badly when i found out.. Felt horrible that i was partially responsible for their break up..

That day on i always had a kinda fear of people's boyfriends.. =/

The end.


Didn't message honey bunny in the end. I'm sure he is fine and well. As for me, i'm still bumped about some pass events but oh well. Don't know why i became so high after an emo session in the morning. Lols~

Caution on what you do always~

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

308 : Gay's Pride

No, not a sexuality celebration, but the prides of gay people.
I know I want to say but I have no idea how to word it.. lol

I don't know is it only me but gay people that are really obviously gay i meet always just come of as extremely unfriendly. Maybe its because they hang out with girls more or they sense me as a plu, each time i talk to them they just give this really unfriendly vibe like 'why is this person talking to me' type. Everyone that talks to them including straight guys, they are just as friendly as ever but me i will get that death stare. People says its because I haven't got to get to know them yet but hell! how do you get to know someone with that deathstare?? No, its not only one person but already a number of them.

Of course they won't add you on facebook, and when you add them on facebook too, they won't accept. My face problem la.
Then there is another issue of people that don't bother replying messages or just says 'I'm busy' 24/7.

The Plu circle around me is just depressing..
Times like this is where i get this really really rare feeling of wishing i was born differently, so i wouldn't have put up with this all the time..
I'm just fucking pathetic no?

Sunday, 21 October 2012

307 : Back to Reality

".. and dancers on stage"

Each of us walk out on to the pitch dark stage, using the countless practices before to navigate ourselves to our positions. We crouching down, and waited..

The music starts.

The strong speakers send pulses and vibrations across the stage and the theater, each beat sending a signal through us, to our eardrums and sensors. Everyone stays still, counting silently to ourselves, the tension builds.

"5, 6, 7, 8.. Te Dum!"

Everyone springs into life, blinders flash, spot lights turn on and a colour wash fills the background. Each dancer moving to our coordinated steps, building the vision our choreographer had intended for our piece. I looked forward to the audience, and the rest was muscle memory.
Before I knew it, we were taking our bows, partying on the stage and the curtains closed.


3 days of awesome performances with friends are finally over.
Back to reality that exams are approaching like a meteor to the dinosaur ages.
No more using dance as an excuse, bohoo!

Enjoy your Sunday!

Friday, 19 October 2012

306 : Cuddle buddy wanted!

Another application sign up sheet since the Boyfriend application posted a while ago went so well, with tones of imaginary mails just pilling in and flooding my cobweb infested mailbox ..

Here's a cuddle buddy application!


Cuddle outfit and cuddle position must be filled out in as much detailed as possible.
Just fill in the form and submit it!

Honestly, who doesn't love a good cuddle under the blankets?

Please and thank you!

Thursday, 18 October 2012

305 : Respect

Respect used to be associated with age, but not anymore.
The younger generation aren't push arounds anymore.

"Respect must be earned" - A line which i been hearing again and again.

I respect everyone, younger and older, as a human being.
If you are high and important, fine. Automatically you gain my respect, you must be went through a lot of shit to get to where you are now, but when you expect people to worship you? Get off your stupid fantasy land please.

During a lecture, another lecturer came in and took 10 mins of the lecture time to talk about the importance of Econometrics for our future. Being the last week of university before exams, some people left the lecture when she started her talk. The lecturer stopped her talk, glared at them leaving and said "Well, we don't have to compete with them for a job in the future". Like wtf?

Yes, i agree that what she was saying was important, but for her to put herself to a point where she insult students when they are leaving? Bitch! Its university, not highschool! Lower your stupid ego bitch, you aren't absolute key to our future. She told us that she will be only taking 10 mins of our time but she was still talking after 15 mins. That point, a student did something that no one expected.

"Excuse me, i know what you are saying is important and all, but this is our last lecture for revision, you come in here saying you would take 10 mins but its 15 mins and you aren't even close to finishing. We need our revision, exams are 2 weeks away."

The look on the lecturers face, priceless.

Similarly, people like my uncle. Does all the crap in the world and expect me to respect him. If you won't talk to my mum when she talks to you, don't expect me to respect you no matter how many things you bring over.

Realize everyone gets medium respect initially to me. Shake my hand with a firm hand straight, gain full respect, shake my hand like a jellyfish, i would slap you like a jellyfish*.

All that being said, some young people still need to learn how to respect people. Its common courtesy such as don't talk when someone else is talking, listen to when people are talking, face them when they are talking, let the older people board the train first, understand not everyone is born 'normal' and such.

Rant rant rant,
Busy week!