Tuesday, 28 February 2012


There it goes..
An hour ago my world crashed and burn again as it did early December..
My heart shattered to the million pieces I toke so long to piece together..
One text..
Those little words..
And my eyes started flowing..

Currently I'm clueless on what to do..
Class starts towmowrrow..
What a way to begin my semester..

Penguin is gone..
Leo just lies there..

Shattered and broke.


Update. 29.2.2012. 3.25am.
Im all better..
Funny how your mind interprets things so stupidly when you arent feeling your best.
Thanks Ev.C for talking to me and clearing everything.
Penguin isnt gone.
Penguin gonna continue being penguin while I continue staying his duck.
Just gonna put everything aside while i finish my studies.

Ducky still loves Penguin very much and vice versa.

His Ducky.

159 : I fled..

I always had a reputation around my friends for being the good boy.
I never been clubbing, don't smoke(not that the rest did), don't play games such a dota and the list goes on..

So few days ago, my friend studying in Australia invited me out for a birthday party via Facebook. he was a close friend since form 1 so i agreed without hesitation. Not being familiar with the streets of Melbourne, he offered to met up by a nearby train station. It was great meeting up with him and his girlfriend again. We hugged and greeted each other like anyone would, its been months since we met anyways. Then his girlfriend asked him something that just left me baffled..

"Can he wear shorts in?"

It was a hot day! Why cant i wear shorts?? Then i found out.. The party venue was a club..

I never been clubbing!!

He then offered to lend me some pants, and we proceeded to dinner together before going back to his place. I was in a dilemma! I dint want to go clubbing.. I dint want my first time to be with him and his friends i dint know! But it was his birthday.. What do i do???

At one point i told myself, "FUCK IT!! I will go one day or another.. Might as well go". Since my place was on the way to the club, my friend suggested i go back and change and get my passport. I left for home as they stayed back and waited for their friends to come before going together.

So there i was.. On the way home, alone on the tram.. When suddenly my phone vibrated.

"S. has checked in to V restaurant along with 5 others."

I checked the map of the restaurant and i told myself. Why not?

Without thinking, I got off the next station. 10 mins of staring at google maps on my phone and was there at the restaurant. I whatsapp my friend, telling them my sister is really worried and does not feel comfortable with me going to a club with people i dont know since i only know him and his girlfriend..

And just like that.. I left to change my clothes and i never went back.. Lol..

I fled..
Went for icecream with S and gang after that though.. haha

Frankly.. I'm terrified of trying something new..
I'm terrified of what i might become..
What if i become a clubbing addict?..
I know..
But still..

Another reason is i always regard first times to be special. To have a special significant to my life that i will always remember. I want it to be memorable.
I want to be able to think back and smile at the memory.
Its just the way my brain works.. lol

So anyways.

Virginity                            - In tack
Clubbing Virginity            - In tack
Lips Virginity                    - Gone to Mr. Ex
Gym Virginity                   - Gone to Penguin

Always terrified..
Young and Cute,

Monday, 27 February 2012

158 : Im back!!~~~

Okays.. I know..
I'm late for my come back..
Blame the stupid Internet Service provider! LIARSSS!!
Sorryyyy!~~~ ><

Anyways, being here in Australia is quite nice.
The amount of cultural diversity just scares me at times though.
Its like everyone here speaks their own language,
Can literally hear every language when you walk around the city.

Being Malaysian rocks though!
Can actually communicate with people from Hong Kong, China and Indo without problem.

Just some pictures of my stay here so far..

My room!! haha, Awesomeness that i love! =DD
Mum brought Ducky over too!

Cloudy skies bringing rain over.

Anyways.. Havent been up to much.. Class starts on weds.
Hope all of you have been fine! If not awesome! haha

Young and Cute,

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

157 : Come Back

Come back

Warning bitches!!!
 Leonut is making a come back
Younger and cuter as ever!!!

*plays dynamic theme song*
 Dum dum dum dum dum!!

L E O N U T!~

Sunday, 19 February 2012

156 : Pokemon

You caught my heart so easily like a masterball on a mewtwo.
Rarecandy the way you make me level up,
The way I evolve from charmander to charizard with you.
The way we will conquer gyms together,
 Surf to cinnabar island and search for the gym leader,
Find the golden tooth in safari zone, 
Challenge the league and defeat the nemesis. 
Getting to the wall of fame and cycling home together,
 And searching for the legendaries. :3

Leo to Penguin

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

155 : Valentines Day

No, I'm not dead..
At least not yet..
 Flew away from everyone on my special day and I miss everyone so badly, especially my penguin..
I'm still awaiting my wifi to arrive to lighten up my days here..
Haven't been in the blogosphere for so long..
Got hell lots to read when I get my wifi.. 

Happy valentines day everyone!!
Hope you guys are having an awesome day!
Was walking around Melbourne city today and everyone was holding hands and roses..
Including 2 guys holding hands in public..
Just made me miss penguin more..
Penguin says we will celebrate a belated valentines when I get back,
and hold my hand as tight as possible..
Wonder will he really be there when u get back.. :/
Anyways.. Miss you guys lots!
Will post proper stuff when I'm more settled and wifi'ed..

Just a little update..

P.s. I don't even t Remember this my number what post.. Too cheap to use my phone data to check.. >< Happy valentines day penguin.. Love you lots, miss you.

Thursday, 9 February 2012

154 : Wishes

I have a few wishes today..
19 to be exact..

I wish :
  1. Everyone to have a wonderful day today. Exceptionally good day and nothing will go wrong. Smooth sailing all the way.
  2. To never drift apart from people who are dear to me.
  3. To get my ideal body. Hope i can push myself to work out REGULARLY. I wanna be sexyy~ haha!
  4. To study well and hopefully transfer to Melboutne University after my first year.
  5. To not fight with my sister's homophobic boyfriend. No, he doesnt know i am but i just never see eye to eye with him.
  6. To NOT fall in love easily.
  7. To be nicer to people.
  8. To be less emotional.
  9. To keep in touch with my family always.
  10. To meet Jboy!
  11. To get to know more bloggers.
  12. To have better blogging content for you guys.
  13. To let go of all my grudges, especially love grudges.
  14. To be able to skype people regularly.
  15. To love myself more, to be more open about my sexuality.
  16. To never stop dancing.
  17. For B to have a wonderful year.
  18. To appreciate everyone more and express it more.. Especially close friends and bloggers
  19. To have a good day.

So today, on this day,
I wish for all my wishes to come through..

Lots of love always,

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

153 : Apology 2

A second apology?
Yea.. A second apology to someone..

Sorry B..
For doubting you..

Meeting up with you for wongfu.. and you asked me something that made me feel like shit..

"Why you never contact me?? Dint tweet me also, i miss you.."

You toke me to your locker and gave me a key chain with your surname.. and you kept mine..
You told me so we could keep a part of each other even when i leave to australia..

You booked a place in line practically the first 10 people to enter the hall.. Bought food for me while i stayed in line..

Holding your hand.. Getting a warm hug from you and watching wongfu with you right beside me..
I was wrong.. Im sorry..
I regret thinking all the things about you before..
It makes it worst that i will never get to see you again..

I cried myself to sleep that day..  with your key chain in my hand, tears flowing down my cheek in regret and remorse.  I miss you so much and the thought of never seeing you again just kills me more..

I'm sorry for everything B..
I never got to tell you this.
I wish i had the courage to..

I gave my heart to you..
 I love you B...

I will keep you with me where ever i go..

Sunday, 5 February 2012

152 : Apology

I just want to apologize to you guys for not replying comments that you guys post.
I've been feeling down these past few days especially after yesterday and my scheduled posts has ran out too..
So might not get an update too till im better..

So i would want to say sorry in advance for not replying the past few post's comments though i really appreciate them and i will pull myself together as soon as possible to get back to the blog's sphere.

Till next time,
Lots of love,

Friday, 3 February 2012

151 : Road Trip!

Recently i went for a day trip with a club friends to Tanjung Sepat for dinner.. First time going to a beach nearby after so many years..

Anyways, the road trip there was legendary.. We literally chatted about all the subjects our hearts and interest brought us.. Learn a lot of stuff.. not exactly good stuff but.. stuff..

  1. When girls get horny.. They get "wet"..
    Yes.. I never knew believe or not.. Typical gay guy not knowing any stuff about girls. This question had pondering about it a while actually.. When guys get horny, we get hard on, So when girls get horny they get wet.. Okay.. Innocents gone.. Dont JUDGE ME!!! I Dint pay attention to stuff like this before..

  2.  How to observe boobs
    When looking at girls cleavage when they ter-expose.. Not the front view, the side.. Pft! Like this details will help us..

  3. Measuring..
    Guys penis length is about your middle finger to the middle hand line.. Accurate? Do share.. haha!

  4. Testicles
    Apparently your testicles kinda "moves" up and down by themselves if you observe them.. Im yet to find out. We discussed which one hangs lower too.. lol
    Extra fact.. My friends prefer the left compared to the right side if you understand.. Boxers people?

  5. Underwear
    Uniqlo underwears are really comfortable, as so i am told.. it feels "awesome"..
  6. Bumps
    When your car is overloaded and the car bottom touches the speed bump when going over it... If everyone on the back seat stands up when passing the bump, it wouldn't happen anymore.. Imagine everyone in the car.. "SPEED BUMP!! 1, 2 , 3!! STAND!!!!~~~" .. lol..
So basically we had crapped to talk about through the whole 2 hours trip there given the fact that we got lost a few times.. Dinner was awesome though, seafood by the beach! The trip back was filled with bitching.. haha!

Friend found a little crab in her lala, something common but still cute to find. =D

A random post,

150 : I am a happy boy..

I am a very happy boy now. 
So who cares if im going to Australia?
Went shopping with mum today. Just both of us. To get the stuff i need to prepare myself to go Australia.
Just plain shopping and spending some quality time with mum. Not to mention her cash.. haha!
Waiting for the rest of the family to join us for dinner. But by the time they joined us and we finished scratching everything off the "to buy" list. It was almost 10.30pm..
Wanted to go delicious to eat cause my mum really really wanted to eat cabonara (her guilty pleasure), but they were closing.. So we were forced to go Chillies to eat.

My 11pm dinner.. ><
What made me literally the happiest boy. For once.. told myself "FK IT!!" ENJOY MYSELF!! haha
Some mini canvas for me to fill my drawing urges, a wallet, a watch, underwear, socks and jeans. Ipad bought for mama so she can facetime with us when we are in Australia. =P

My new babies!!
So basically i learnt something within these two days.

1. There is nothing in the world that can cheer you up then a skype call from someone and spending money to buy stuff for yourself..

2. There is no point missing someone that clearly will not miss you. Moving on!

Lots of love,

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

149 : Rants

I find myself deeply exhaling these days..
A disappointment i feel about myself.

A few dates with no hope and no expectations and i fell..
I fell for him.. hard..

Its pathetic.. to fall for someone that doesn't feel the same way..
Knowing you will never become his first 3 priority when he is always in your mind..
Everyday you wake up he would be the first in your mind.. You wonder if he is awake..
You go to sleep wondering how was his day.. and if he once thought about you throughout his day..
You freaking miss him..
You constantly feel down, depressed even..

You want to invite him out, but you are terrified...
He has his own friends..
Don't think he wants your company anyways..
He seldom messages you.. Tweets you or build any form of communication with you..
Which just adds to the depression..
Just waiting for him to invite you out..

Damn this sucks... this freaking sucks..