Monday, 31 December 2012

338 : Closed!

Being right behind the crowded lift, he's hand creeped over. Slowly but confidently, his pinky grabbed mine and with one smooth move, he held my hand. We said nothing but simply enjoyed the brief "private" moment between floors, secretly praying nobody turn around.

I can honestly say that the highlight of the year was the beginning.
But moments don't last forever sadly.

Looking back, I changed so much this year.
I'm no longer the naive boy that allowed people to play emotionally anymore.
I learned being a goodie two shoes won't get you anywhere but pushed around.
That you can't put all your eggs in one basket, and the one that hurts you the most are the one closest to you.

This year i lost myself completely, found it back and lost it again..
I can say i'm quite lost where my life is heading now..

I lost my love and some things i can never gain back.
I gained a lot of new experiences, gained new friends as well as got closer to others.

Funny thing is after a year i still can't figure out why i yearn for a relationship so badly. No one died of loneliness before right?? At least not anyone my age i'm sure.

So in a few hours time, i'm closing this book of memories and leaving it behind. Taking only the lessons i need to the future years.

See you guys next year?

I loved you, I miss you,

Saturday, 29 December 2012

337 : Thank you! and the Secret Garden

Morning started with the daily struggle out of bed.
A quick bath and it was off to meet Jboy for the continued jockstrap hunt!
Unfortunately, the jockstraps we found were incredibly expensive even with a discount!
Anyone willing to buy me a jockstrap? My birthday is soon.. LOL 

Anyways, had a chance to meet up Danny and got the contest prize.
Can't say this enough but thank you for the lovely wrapped gift!
I tried unwrapping it carefully but the paper still ripped. :(
Talking to Danny, we discovered something about him we never knew.. =X
Apparently i look much more boyish than he imagine.. Don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing..

Snow white Christmas Present!

Visited the Secret Gardens of OneUtama. I never knew such place existed..
Anyone else been there before?

Leave it to Jboy to sign the guest book huh?.. -.-''
Such a romantic place to go for a date!
Gonna visit there again soon! Maybe with a date. =P


Friday, 28 December 2012

336 : Christmas Gifts

Sad to say due to my family, being a typical traditional chinese family, We don't celebrate Christmas.

The only form of gifts i would ever get would be once a year in a small red packet in form of cash.

That being said, this recent two years, a group of friends been organizing a Secret Santa event. Not sounding ungrateful or anything but i have been getting really miscellaneous useless gifts such as a feather boa for my secret santa. Like what?? What am i going to do with a feather boa?? Sheeesh!
I gave nice useful gifts okay? A scarf to a friend studying in UK last year and a softtoy to a stuffedtoy maniac this year.

My best friend has a really unique taste in gifts for me. Last year for Christmas, she got my a pair of earphones as well as... condoms... Strawberry ones in fact.

Strawberry "shields" from body shop
Unfortunately, I never got to use them. To taste or allow to be tasted. Lol, Volunteers?

This year.. She got to me boxers.
Captain America boxers. She told me she got me Captain America so i can be a superhero inside. And also, because she bought me a "shield" last year to match his shield..

I'm not sure if she is hinting anything, but i like the direction she is going with my gifts. Curious to see what she would get me next year..
Yes, she knows i'm gay. lol
So what did you guys get for Christmas this year?


Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

P.s. I just found out how sexy some of my readers are.. Tehee!

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

335 : Touch.

Physical touch.
The one catalyst of a relationship that pushes everything forward.
The element that causes the downfall of me.

I'm sorry..
The speed that everything was moving, I'm was really just overwhelmed.

We both knew this was coming..

A language of love,
The one i'm always deprived of..

"Hey there Delilah, don't you worry about distance,
I'm right there if you get lonely give this song another listen, 
close your eyes, listen to my voice it's my disguse,
I'm right by your side"

I'm sorry..

Monday, 24 December 2012

334 : Hobbit?

What initially was a plan to search for eye candy and jockstraps with Jboy became a movie outing with Jboy, Alex and Tempus.

Watched the Hobbit with them and damn i did feel like a hobbit the whole time. I'm like a small woodland creature around them.. Short little boy among the giants..

But anyways, anyone else felt the movie was over stretched?

Like the mountain scene where the titans fought. Whats the point of that?.. It didn't split them up, change the direction of the course or someone fell down. I know those are all the details of the book but kinda seemed really random.

A lot of people said it was really slow moving which i do agree but the good special effects and breathtaking scenery really kept me entertained.

And as for the outing, i can say, alex makes amazing cakes. :D


Friday, 21 December 2012

333 : Alot

A confession before it ends.
If the world ends right?

I was worried, coming back to Malaysia, I had a genuine fear of what might be waiting for me when i got home. Things i left unresolved before unravel themselves, leaving a huge tangled mess to be faced. A week before coming home itself, i was in a state of panic wondering what will happen when i see them or the bigger question, if i will actually see them.

Then i got an email 3 days before i came home from someone.
Not expecting much, a normal reply and exchange of contacts, we starting talking.
The day before i flew back, we Skyped and unknowingly, for 5 hours with not a single awkward moment. Since then, the tangled mess seemed like such a small thing. I'm not saying I used him to hide the mess but he actually made me see how inflated my worries are, that i had nothing to worry about.

Even now.. I saw the guy that hurt me the most and i don't feel the spite i did before..

Everyday 2 skype calls morning and night to each other, i really do feel happy again.

No action comes without a reaction and of course consequences.
I used to have never realize the consequences. Falling without ever thinking stuff through and just "living" in the moment left me bitten countless of times.
Just factoring everything into the equation...
The distance, the time zone, the unpredictablity of the human heart..

What i'm trying to say is, to the guy i been talking to everyday, the guy behind on the other side of the camera :
I like you alot.

I'm not asking for a relationship or anything but i just wanted to let you know how i currently feel.
If the world end, it ends.

You guys excited?..

And as the closet guy said, Happy Winter Solstice! 

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

332 : Grandma loves food

People always say grandmas are the one that spoil you.
The house that you would love to visit as a kid, where there is always plentiful food. But as for me, its the total opposite.

My grandmother is not young, having worked her whole life left her leg and back worn out as she aged. Even now, she needs a walking stick and getting into a car takes a lot of effort. Breaks my heart seeing her suffer so much but she never once look sad. She always smile no matter what, like when she gets into a car after much effort, she always smiles at me and say:

"Grandma is so old already, next time I wouldn't even be able to get in car or walk already."

Anyways, my grandma loves food!
Cutest grandma ever, she makes the oddest request of food she wants to eat.
Only recently she asked my mum for pizza, burgers, and spaghetti.
Each time my mum would buy it and take it home for her and you can see her genuine happiness when she gets to eat her favourite food.
When people get old, food is the only thing they can enjoy.
I don't get it when i see old folks already 60 over years old, being restricted on what they can or cannot eat. Why control them?

Those that are retired and just waiting to past, why not let them enjoy life? I'm not saying feed them artery clogging food everyday but why not let them enjoy the only thing they can enjoy: Food? My uncle only allows my grandparents to eat generic "old people" food, clear and no oil and honestly they don't look like they ever enjoy eating those.

I enjoy eating out with my grandparents.
Genuine happiness in a meal.

Growing more and more fonder of the cutest guy.. :)

Sunday, 16 December 2012

331 : Christmas present came early!

Christmas came early today!
Woke up in the morning to find a pretty huge box lying on a table by my front door.
With my sequel of excitement, I grabbed a blade and murdered the box, cutting between every tape holding the box together.

2 white envelopes with a ribbon inside the boxes.
The notebooks I bought from Two Horns Child have arrived!

What i can say is, there is not one bit of regret that i open the white envelopes!

Okay, Its quite pathetic i bought them for myself.. Secret Santa to myself I guess!

How are your Christmas shopping going?

Friday, 14 December 2012

330 : 14th of each month

In Korea, the 14th of each month is a different form of lover's day. (Except April)
A little tradition that couples follow to appreciate each other which seemed to have spread to a small population of Malaysia, probably due to the constant increase in Korean influence on the world.

Today, the 14th of December, is Hugging Day.
Hug your partner on this special day to show your appreciation for each other.
Just a simple cuddle or a tight squeeze to take in each other's warmth.
It takes 2 to hug and having someone there to hug is a privileged, cherish it. =)

Here are the list for the other months :
January 14: Diary Day
Couples exchange diaries as gifts, perhaps to wish good luck for the New Year.
February 14: Valentine's Day
Observed by Western cultures, women give chocolates to males.
March 14: White Day
The origin is uncertain but some maintain it originated in Japan. Men give candies to women on this day.
April 14: Black Day
The only 14th event for singles -- they get together and eat Chinese noodles, providing a cheerful occasion for those depressed about not having a significant other.
May 14: Rose Day
Couples exchange roses as gift on this day.
June 14: Kiss Day
Couples share a kiss on this day.
July 14: Silver Day
Couples give each other gifts of silver jewelry on this day.
August 14: Green Day
Couples enjoy the great outdoors with a walk in a forest or up a mountain.
September 14: Photo Day
Couples take pictures together on this day.
October 14: Wine Day
Couples enjoy drinking wine, considered exotic in Korea, on this day.
November 14: Movie Day
Couples go out for a movie together on this day.
December 14: Hug Day
Couples give each other a hug on this day.
Taken from Yahoo News

So who are you hugging today?


Wednesday, 12 December 2012

329 : 12.12. 2012

So who doesn't want to ride the 12.12.12 train where people believe something magical would happen and their wishes will come true right?

So Tadah!! Happy 12.12.12!

I had one friend said: "so what.. we had 11.11.2011 and 10.11.2012, nobody even remember what they did on that so called 'special' date. Beside we still have 11.12.2013 to look forward to and any other dates people can think of."

Lol, i feel like such a kill-joy now.. ><

Anyways, here is an advertisement video that made me laugh the first thing today.

Sexy? Gonna buy me some of those squirting cream puffs.. =P

Happy 12.12.2012!~

Sunday, 9 December 2012

328 : I became a murderer..

Since i got back i have done nothing but murder.
Clapping my hands every few mins to reveal the flatten body of the insect who's life i have taken, i feel the conflicting emotion of sadness and sadistic happiness. With the lack of mosquitoes and flies where i have been for the past 10 months, killing insects felt really weird.

I found 2 bumps on my feet and arms which is really scary. Really red tall bumps and the one of my feet appears to have fluid in it.. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE MOSQUITOES?? The mosquitoes i have killed all appear to have the signature white strips of a dengue mosquito.. Help?

I killed mosquitoes, so what right? (Someone owes me two medals for killing mosquitoes btw. =P)

My recent unintentional murder was due to self defense.
I was pinched.. really badly..

"Can you pick it up?"
"Yea sure!", with one swift move, I reached in and picked it up. "Nah!"
"You suppose to hold it like that meh? I thought you grab it there?"
"Oh really? You mean like thi- OMG! FUACK~ GET IT OFF!!! GET IT OFF!!"

If you haven't guess, i was pinched by a live crab. I never expected it to hurt so badly, i mean, cartoons show people get pinch all the time but all that happens is the pinched spot just throbs for a while and everyone beside them will just laugh.. Okay, people were laughing beside me so that i guess that is the only accurate portrayal to this situation.

Before i could even register the source of the pain, my natural reflex was to fling it off. Few hard flings later, the crab let go and was flung towards the ground and landed HARD. Everyone crowd around the crab and it was pronounce dead a few mins later. Death by concussion.

Few seconds later i found blood on the floor.. I looked at my palm and saw few tiny patches of smudge blood. Only when i turn my hand around, OMG!! I'M BLEEDINGGG~~~

So typical Asian of me, reporting every detail of my life, took out my phone to capture the damage.

I murdered a crab out of self defense. Blame the guy who sold us the crab who didn't tie the pincers properly.

I've been a monk for 10 months, living in harmony and not murdering anything and here i am killing dozens of mosquitoes and a few crabs(Yes.. a few). Don't tell me all the meat I eat are animals that were once living etc etc. When you kill a live animal for food, its a different story.

I'm waiting for my two medals, lol.

Thursday, 6 December 2012

327 : Hell, I'm home!

Waking up at 5.30am, i guess it has its benefits.
Seeing the sunrise and feeling the gradual temperature change, i finally have the chance to get used to the weather..

Walking out of the metal bird, i exhale in relief when it wasn't as hot as i imagine. Hell i was wrong..
When i got home, i was practically covered in sweat, unknowingly, i walked right into mosquito hell.

Everywhere i look, i see little black devils hovering around me, especially those right in front of my face which are practically impossible to swat. Worst thing is they look like dengue mosquitos which just makes me quite scared and paranoid. Apparently, 2 residents around my neighborhood caught dengue fever few days ago and a few of the council members came over to check for stagnant water around the house before i got back.

I better get my bio clock straight.. Dinner at 4pm, Sleep at 9pm and waking up at 5am..

Watch out for the little devils!

Who am i suppose to meet up with again?

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

326 : Jhameel!

The voice of my 8 hours, JHAMEEL!
Recently found his music and it was instant addiction.

One of the voices i can play on repeat along with ImogenHeap, Florance x Machine, Pink, OwlCity etc.
Check out his originals as well as his covers!

White Lie


How Many Lovers

Halo by Beyonce Cover

Fuck You by Cee Lo


The videos are the few of my fav songs from him especially the "Fuck You" cover!
There are alot of more really amazing original songs like "Origami Monster" as well as "Foundation".

Facebook : Jhameel *Liked!*
Website   :

Best thing is his albums are free to download. =D

Have a good 5th of December! =D

Sunday, 2 December 2012

325 : Kids, Fragile Glass and other scary things.

Confession : I have an extreme mix feelings of hate and fear towards kids. 

Yes. I'm weird like that but honestly i really don't like being in the presence of children, typically kids below 6 years young. 

They are so fragile! Worst than handling thin glass. It's like if they trip and fall they might die.. or worst.. start crying.. Just hearing the banshee screech of unsatisfaction and attention just sends me in a state of panic, I can never tell what they want or what they like. I'm just stereotypical, happy faces or soft toys, and if that doesn't work, go find Mama. 

Another thing is they absorb everything! Did you guys watch Meet The Fockers? The baby's first words were "Asshole". A similar thing happened to me once. I was talking to a friend when I swore. Unknowingly, my dance teachers' daughter wondered behind us and over heard it. She then proceeded to repeat it the way she registered the taboo word : Fourk. The second we heard it we turned around, face changed and went "oh.. my.. god.. no no no no no no no no no, not fourk! Frog! Frog right?? Frog jumping around! Froggy! Froggy". Should see our faces when she said "no, FOURK!". Took us 5 minutes of repeated jumping followed by the word "frog" to convince her it was frog.. NEVER AGAIN! Curse you sponge brain!!

I swore at a baby once.. We were eating in a restaurant where the tables were separated by a short partition. My sister went "Eh.. eh.. turn around and see." 
I turned around and screamed :"FUCK!!!!!" I was literally few inches from this freaky baby climbing the partition. His eyes were freaking huge and staring right at me. I was so freaking scared i could feel my heart pounding. I usually don't swear around little kids, but swearing at a baby, i felt terrible. 

I don't care what you guys say.. This was the scariest thing ever..

Another thing is their protective parents. When anything goes wrong, no matter is it their child's fault or yours, its YOURS!! There was this young girl, holding her dad's hand walking in front of me. She kept turning around and staring at me with this bitchy look while walking. Around the 5th time she turn around, i was so annoyed at her, I gave her the "wtf do you want" look. I was wearing a plain shirt, there was nothing special. She got pissed off and tugged on her dad's hand and complain. Like the hell.. Anyyways, when they slowed down so she could "complain", i just overtook them and walked away. SAVED!

Don't get my wrong. I love kids, the nice quiet intelligent onces, not the playful spoiled annoying brats. Seeing parents put an ipad in front of their kids to entertain and distract them when they go out for dinner, i'm really worried on how the next generation of tablet and Smartphone kids will grow up to become.

When I get my own children however, I'm gonna be that protective irrational bitch too i guess. And if i don't get my own children, I'm gonna spoil and make my sister's children fat.. =P

In the mean time, I'm gonna smile and act happy around kids.. Don't wanna be that guy that scars them for life...

Happy Sunday!