Monday, 29 August 2011

70: The view..

I began to feel restless as I opened the airplane window previously closed to shield myself from  scorching afternoon sun. It was close to dark now, 6.30pm, my watch reads as i pass into Australian border.
The most amazing scene welcome my sight as i looked out the window. The sun's fading beams outlined the ocean line, making the world's end visible. It was breathtaking! I scan the vast ocean below and imagined the marine lives directly below me. A whale perhaps? Making its yearly migration around the world. My train of thought was suddenly broken by the setting sun. Clear colours can been seen, from the bright red lining the ocean fading to the indigo purple sky. It was just simply breathtaking. At that moment i thought how nice it would be if i could share the view with you. The sun set completely and the rainbow of colours retreated along with it, leaving behind the dark field for the stars to play. I closed the window as i suddenly remembered how much i'm going to miss you.


Friday, 26 August 2011

69: Cya in one week!

I actually had typed out a post before, as usual, my undiagnosed ADHD has taken its toll. I dint finish it. lol, went of doing something and totally forgot about it. Anyone else like this?
So anyways, see you guys in one week! Im flying off to australia tomorrow morning to check out some unis and to visit my dearest sister. :P
See you guys!


Monday, 22 August 2011

68: Crazy parents

One of my friend has been really moody lately, being a normal practice i gave him a hug and asked him whats wrong. He toke out his phone and flip through a few message before showing me a message that i suppose was from his mum. To my horror, i never expect to see the words "Grab your neck and slaughter them like a duck when you get home" from a parent...  I was just filled with rage and sympathy, towards his parents and him respectively. How could a mother be so heartless to her own child? Her own flesh and blood and she is treating him like a slave.
He is an excellent dancer. When he was young, he met with an accident and he injured his back bone. Now he cant do stun moves and such during dance. Why am i telling you this? When he injured his back, his parents treated him as a burden. Asking him why must he injured his back. Why must he burden the whole family.
Every time i log into facebook i see his tweets.. How his parents have banned him from activities, how they screamed at him, how he is crying..
I just feel so sad for him, i really dont know what i can say to comfort him.. I passed him back his phone, and gave him the warmest hug.. hoping that it would make him feel at least a bit better..

On another note.. I started to get the cold shoulder from Mr.crush... I really dont know what i did.. just bummed... Really gets me down..  I miss talking to him.. "maybe he has personal problems i guess?" i comfort myself as we exchange a casual "bye.."


67: Hate it!!

It is just so bloody annoying when someone doesnt reply you online,
and right after totally ignoring you, they go and talk to someone else.
Just so pissed!! And now the same ass is asking me to repeat what I was saying 20 mins after just because now he need the information.
Like seriously?
Such a bitch!!! ARGH!!!!!

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

66: Updates.

I'm feeling awesome!! I manage to successfully indulge myself in something. Maplestory.. lame right? haha
I'm not emoing or anything of that sort anymore.
I've been rather hyper actually..
I do still think about him though..
Somewhere inside me, i feel hope..

Was online with him till around 3am few days ago,
Raining heavily, he said he wished he had a girlfriend to cuddle.
The only reply i could give was "me too".
At least i know he is a romantic?..

Anyways, guess im generally happier now.
Thanks Aiden and Chen Xing!
Want to gossip even though I'm feeling better? :P

Sunday, 14 August 2011

65: Again...

Again.. I woke up feeling sad..
The recollection of the dream of him totally ignoring me just.. hurts me..
Suddenly it feels like its coming true..
The long hours of finally coming to a realization it was just a dream wasted as i was ignored when i pmed him...
I feel like i need to tell somebody, a mutual friend...
But who... :(
Im scared..

Friday, 12 August 2011

64: Random updates.

Avoiding him was a total fail.
Felt so uncomfortable avoiding him especially when im dying to talk to him.
Especially when i lock eyes with him accidentally and look away in the most retarded manner while trying to look natural.

Walked into the studio today, saw him dancing with another 2 members.
I grab my stuff and head to the door, the second i open the door to leave, i heard :
"Hey kay, want to learn a new choreography?"
And guess who threw their things aside and learn and new choreography today?
That aside, the feelings are fading day by day.
A stupid slutty girl was flirting with him today..
I'll slap that slut if she flirts some more..
Guess that was kinda a wake up call.

Today is my first ever love's b'day,
Should i wish him?..
Kinda ended badly few years ago.. :(

Its 4am.. Got a test and presentation tomorrow, better get some shut eye..


Saturday, 6 August 2011

63: See yea..

This must be the most depressing blog in the blogsphere currently..
I just feel frustrated with my current situation,
Falling grades, project due dates, straight crush, bottled up emotions...
Avoiding him indirectly has made me stop going for dance practices which is making me feel very restless..
Another thing about people around me commanding authority without even knowing how inferior their position is just annoys me..
I really need to take a break from everything..
I need to catch my breath..
I'll see you guys in a few weeks then..
I miss him..


Friday, 5 August 2011

62: Empty void..

There is a hole in my heart,
left by him,
the one that i gave half of it to,
without knowing the consequences.
To think i expected an exchange to occur,
how blind i was to not be able to see it was never going to happen..
My brain tells me to leave and avoid confrontation,
My heart tells me to pursue and take the risk..
I'm just feeling hollow now suddenly starting to avoid him,
I've been seeing him everyday for almost a month,
I need more time to adapt to the change in routine..

There's an hole in my heart,
waiting to be filled..


Wednesday, 3 August 2011

61: Woke up angry..

I woke up angry today..
Not at anyone but at myself..
Just don't know why.. I was so confused..

I realize i don't like body contact anymore.
I used to love hugs and headlocks that my friends give and all but now i feel really uncomfortable with body contact...
Just don't feel like my usual self anymore..

That aside.. Anyone had straight crushes before?
What did you guys do about them?
Just asking for opinions :(


Monday, 1 August 2011

60: Is it okay?

Is it okay??
To like the guy that every single girl is drooling over?
I felt a little annoyed when i overheard my friend saying she saw his ex sending signs to him few days ago..
Only a while later did i realize she has all the rights to.. She is a girl, I'm a guy anyways. The chances are he will go for her again.
In addition to looks and build, he is so friendly and caring.
He even bought me bubble tea and dinner before.
Such a sweet guy..
i'll just have to learn to keep my distance.

Anyways, here's 2 dance videos for you guys to enjoy. :P


59: MIA

I have been mia for the pass few days. lol
Had the best performance in my life.
The lights, the sound, the music, the movements, the choreography, the crowd.
A detailed memory that i will keep forever. :P
Mean time, i will start blogging again while i recover from my sudden routine change depression.