Wednesday, 31 December 2014


Curious how I have the crave for a male's touch rather than a female's.
Wonder is it a mentality thing or pheromones.. I'm sure there is a proper explanation for it but if there isn't, could it be that something is really wrong with my brain? Is that why homosexuals are call abominations by outsiders looking in. Fascinating how different people are, everyone somehow just falls under a certain category, the gays, the lesbians, the bisexuals and transgenders, within them, their own subgroups, the feminine gays, the drags, the jocks and all.. Everyone with their own district trait..

I really don't know where this post is going to go but i'm just going to keep typing.. I see parents, friends and strangers always talking about a gay comedian, or a drag queen that made them laugh, but if their own son or daughter falls within the "different" category, they lose their mind.. They become angry, they scream, they shout, verbal and physical abuse occurs. The victim, feeling betrayed and hurt struggles to defend themselves from the two guardians that have guided and walked every step of life with them.. Confused..

Just like that.. I lost puppy.. his parents found out and our relationship ended on the spot.. 3 months to 2 years together just ended like that.. I'm banned from seeing or talking to him, every physical evidence of our relationship erase within the hour.. He is probably going to be transferred back to Malaysia just to further enforce the no contact rule.. So there goes everything. The plan to move in with me just burned away, the future we planned is gone.. Way to start new years crying in my room for hours right?..

Whats the point in living when you can't love who you want, or be loved for who you are?

Even if we get out of this, when the time comes I'll face the spot light myself.. Why drag Puppy through another one?..

Ending the year with a broken heart. Feeling heavy, hollow, confuse... So many things I have planned and foresee but this was never one of them.. Not so soon anyway.

To anyone reading my blog on new years eve, have a good new year!

Close the last page of the book today and start a new story tomorrow.

My love story however, just got cut short..

Good luck of the new years.


  1. well.. not every parent can be so accepting nowadays even though the fact that we have heard and seen some parents are very open-minded about this.
    Take care. :)

  2. totally off topic , what is your opinion about interracial love ?.I think its gross .

    I feel bad if a chinese guy is seen with a non chinese .

    I mean, what is your opinion? .I feel personally it is happening because of the tv shows , but its just kinda not acceptable for me to date different colored pple ..but what do you think causes this phenomenon , is it bcoz of the movies .

    Its really not logical

    You comments on this issue ?

    1. Exactly like saying gay people are gay because of movies.. I don't think people will change orientations because of social media right? its NATURAL.

      Anyway, anon, do keep an open mind. Assuming you are gay as well, we already fall under a form of discrimination and i'm sure you been under a situation where you are being discriminated against(either directly or indirectly) and you think to yourself, "why can't they understand". At the same time you have a million reasons why you love someone but they just won't understand, and they frustrate you.

      Same concept. You are currently the one frustrating them. So keep an open mind. If you want to stop any form of discrimination, start with yourself. Just try to understand k?

      If you ask me, an interracial relationship is more accepted than being gay. I mean.. Laws against it has been overturned but there are still places you get killed for being gay. So keep up with time k?

      If a chinese guy likes malays or indian guys, you stand no chance against him anyway, so why try fighting for him? Like fighting for a straight guy hoping he might like you.

      Interracial love is very logical, love is blind. Cliche~~


  3. That's a bad beginning. Wish it will get better over time *hugs*

  4. Anon 1 is seriously racist. It's 2015 already for fuck's sake! And to be gay and having a negative perception on his fellow community of his ethnicity dating other races is just plain racist, immature and uncalled for.
    Anyways, in my opinion, it is natural what you feel. You are longing for a man's touch. There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have gone down that path too, disgusted with myself and and nearly attempted suicide. But you know what? It ain't worth it. Whether you believe in God or not, being attracted to the same gender is pretty natural. If it ain't, then how come there are millions and millions of people who feel the same way?
    Have a nice 2015!

    1. I know it ain't worth it.. I'm just curious why are we program this way.. Like what makes us this way.. hmmm.. Questions.. lol

      Happy New Year to you too Anon! =D

  5. anon 2 , reality sux bitch , you probably are another one that likes interracial ...

    Stay away from my chinese boys , MF !

    -anon 1

    1. anon1, hey you fucking slutty racist whore, i'm chinese too and i much prefer chinese guys as well, but if our people fall in love with people of other race there's nothing wrong with that. now stop trolling and grow up you motherfuckin' cunt!