205 : Love

When you break someone's heart often enough or hard enough,
they just fall apart.

They lose confidence in themselves,
Wondering is it them who is the problem one,
The one that caused a sweet moment to break apart,
The one that made their beloved lose every feeling and memory towards them just like that.
They start to wonder is it their personality, making them distance themselves from others.
They wonder is it their looks, looking into the mirror and just sighing.
Their body? Their way of expressing love?
Or just them as a whole that repulse their once beloved..

The doubt builds as they look back into their memories.
"I love the way you dance".
Simple compliment he gave that once made their day for example.
Was he lying when he said that?..
He must have been lying. He wanted to protect my feelings.
I suck at dancing.
The doubt grows and runs around their brains..
And soon they just stop..

They never fall in love as deeply as they did..
First relationships are the ones that they fall the deepest for.
When it happens a second time, a form of fear builds within them.
As the fear accumulates they loose the feeling of love towards anyone.
To them love is just "waiting to break up".
Soon they go out looking for people,
Anyone willing to hug them or kiss them...

"Love are like the night stars for some relationships, at one point, uncountable. Then morning comes and every glowing star just fades away.."

-Leonut

96 :

I feel this heavy burden on my heart..
I miss you dear..
I really really miss spending time with you..
All i get now a days are sms's during your between times..
When you take a 5 min break from studies, before you sleep..
After my reply, you wont reply till your next break..
I feel very frustrated..
I feel a heartache..

I know you are having exams..
But i really wish i had 10 mins of your day everyday..
Where you wont worry about your exams, where you will talk to me like before..

I dont dare call you.. I dont dare interrupt your studying..
The last time i ask you if you would go for a walk with me..
You told me needed to study..
I understand.. but i died a little inside..

People keep telling me to stop thinking so much..
But im not thinking.. Its how im feeling..
I feel very hurt...
Like you dont love me anymore..

Dear..
I sure you dont mean it..
I know i should talk to you about this personally,
but i figure writing it here would be the best, when you are reading this, im sure you wont feel so stressed, when your exam is over, and you have free time..
I know, i know.. After your exams..
I just hope this feeling goes away soon...

Good Luck for your exams dear...
Love you..