405 : How do I tell my friends?

So to all you people all there with the question "how do I tell my friends that I'm gay?", you got to learn the few points to this curious questions.

Point number ONE.
-Nobody in the world is forcing you to come out to your friends.
Take your time, if you are uncomfortable with yourself, how the hell are you going to be comfortable with them? The closet is a comfortable space, take Narnia for example, its huge as fuck, with mountains, castles and shit, stay there as long as you want till Azlan tells you its time to leave, Azlan meaning yourself.

Point number TWO
-Everyone goes through that "what if they don't accept me" question.
Simple, if they don't accept you, move along and make new friends! Clearly they aren't your true friends if they won't accept you and frankly, I wouldn't want to be friends with some narrow minded sons of bitches too. Think about it, a married man will see his wife's nude face all the time, her bitchy friends however, will see her only when she has a full set of 'I'm-fabulous" make up. Don't get bitchy friends, get a husband!

Point number THREE
-We are all around you!
Don't go "Everyone around me is straight". My dear, don't think you are so good at hiding your gayness, you aren't the only actor around. And cut all this bullshit about straight acting and all. Unless you secretly wish to carry a handbag and wear XSS clothes but don't, you aren't acting shit. You are who you are! The way you talk, the way to carry yourself, be comfortable with it and shut up with all these "i'm tired of acting straight in front of my friend", what? Do you want to hump a dude in front of them?

Point number Four
-They probability already know.
I recently told my close friend and she told me she never expected. But that's beside the point, she mentioned that even if someone suspects another person to be gay, chances are they will not ask, at least I know most people around me won't. It would be damn embarrassing if you asked a straight guy if he was gay and  might also ruined your relationship with him. Long story short, they might just be waiting for you to tell them and they CAN wait. People's gaydars are getting stronger and stronger.

Point number Five
-Sometimes, it makes no difference even if they knew.
For me, the topics I talk about with my friends don't revolve around relationships or sex, so it really made no difference. Unless you plan to talk about who you did in bed, or who's hand you hold, it doesn't make a difference really. There are plenty of things to talk about other than sex. Its nice to have people to tell all these things to but just don't let it be the main reason you push yourself to out yourself.

All in all, just be comfortable with yourself. Life is short, friends come and go. Don't be down if you think your friends might reject you. If people make jokes or make fun of the gay community with or in front of you, by all means, you don't have to defend and speak up against them if you are uncomfortable, but please don't take it as a direct assault towards you. Most people who make fun of the gay community don't have close gay friends. When someone do come out to them, you'll never know if their prospective will change. With that said, gay bullying however, please speak up against that..

Love life,
Good luck,
Leonut

P.s. Don't be so eager for a boyfriend too! They will come!

159 : I fled..

I always had a reputation around my friends for being the good boy.
I never been clubbing, don't smoke(not that the rest did), don't play games such a dota and the list goes on..

So few days ago, my friend studying in Australia invited me out for a birthday party via Facebook. he was a close friend since form 1 so i agreed without hesitation. Not being familiar with the streets of Melbourne, he offered to met up by a nearby train station. It was great meeting up with him and his girlfriend again. We hugged and greeted each other like anyone would, its been months since we met anyways. Then his girlfriend asked him something that just left me baffled..

"Can he wear shorts in?"

It was a hot day! Why cant i wear shorts?? Then i found out.. The party venue was a club..

I never been clubbing!!

He then offered to lend me some pants, and we proceeded to dinner together before going back to his place. I was in a dilemma! I dint want to go clubbing.. I dint want my first time to be with him and his friends i dint know! But it was his birthday.. What do i do???

At one point i told myself, "FUCK IT!! I will go one day or another.. Might as well go". Since my place was on the way to the club, my friend suggested i go back and change and get my passport. I left for home as they stayed back and waited for their friends to come before going together.

So there i was.. On the way home, alone on the tram.. When suddenly my phone vibrated.

"S. has checked in to V restaurant along with 5 others."

I checked the map of the restaurant and i told myself. Why not?

Without thinking, I got off the next station. 10 mins of staring at google maps on my phone and was there at the restaurant. I whatsapp my friend, telling them my sister is really worried and does not feel comfortable with me going to a club with people i dont know since i only know him and his girlfriend..

And just like that.. I left to change my clothes and i never went back.. Lol..

I fled..
Went for icecream with S and gang after that though.. haha

Frankly.. I'm terrified of trying something new..
I'm terrified of what i might become..
What if i become a clubbing addict?..
I know..
Control.
But still..

Another reason is i always regard first times to be special. To have a special significant to my life that i will always remember. I want it to be memorable.
I want to be able to think back and smile at the memory.
Its just the way my brain works.. lol

So anyways.

Virginity                            - In tack
Clubbing Virginity            - In tack
Lips Virginity                    - Gone to Mr. Ex
Gym Virginity                   - Gone to Penguin

Always terrified..
Young and Cute,
Leo

99 : Young Activist

Today Cyren introduced me to a young boy.
Whats so special about him?
The way he comments on hate groups and fight for rights.
My god, his only 16!!

One of his many comments :
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"Don't you think it's a little too far to go to an extent where you create a HATE-group to prevent people who share consensual love to be together mainly using 'Allah' or 'God' as a base point? I understand Malaysia is a secular country but we are forgetting something far more important here. Do you actually think god or any higher-being whatsoever would approve of your condemnation and hate towards other people who are clearly harmless and in no way whatsoever has any inclination that would hurt others?

What the couples in the pictures are doing is nothing but merely love between each other and for the child, what's so wrong with that? I'm really confused! Do you have any idea at all how many teenagers have killed themselves because they were gay?Because of the discrimination from society? And in case if you didn't know, NO ONE CHOSE TO BE GAY anymore than you chose to be straight! Why would someone choose to be hated or discriminated by the society or worse of all, having to face the extremely scary process of telling your conservative parents that might kick you out, that you are gay? Wouldn't life be easier if we were all straight?

But guess what? Gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people do exist in this world and nothing can change that. So why the hell are you hating on them for something they cannot change when you can just accept them for who they are and make this world a better place to be in? FUN FACT : Homosexuality exists in over 400+ species in animals, but homoPHOBIA only exists in one, which is the human species. Which one is unnatural now? Worst of all you are taking away their rights as a human being to love merely because of their sexual orientation. This is just sad.

I really don't know what is this 'keakhiran zaman' you guys are speaking of. If there's any cause of 'keakhiran zaman', it's ignorance. It's far more easier to hate than to actually try and understand. Please do a proper research and make sure you actually understand the LGBTQ community before you condemn them. Good day
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He writes like a pro! Im sure he will do well in uni research projects.. LOL
Really admire how he is so active is defending our rights.
When i was his age i was still crushing over my first love. lol!
Feel so bad that the longest post in my blog aren't even my words..

What were you guys doing at the age of 16? Closet? Having "fun"? haha

Love,
Ck