Showing posts with label Help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Help. Show all posts

Thursday, 5 December 2013

412 : The easy way out.

7 degrees out there right now. 3 of us cuddled up in the middle of Lincoln Square, our arms wrapped tightly around Jun as the cold wind pierce our clothes.

Life. I can say how lucky I am to have not experienced any death around me growing up but I can't say the same for others.

I cannot imagine the emotion flooding Jun right now. Within 5 days, 2 separate cases of close friends committing suicide hit her with no warning whatsoever. Heaviness filled her heart and we detoured from our way home to Lincoln Square to take a breather the moment she received the news. I felt to useless. That crucial moment where she was crying in our arms, I was speechless, or rather afraid to say anything. I don't know how exactly she was feeling, or the memories that were flashing through her eyes. I don't know what I could say in the moment but I was praying my presence as well as Rel's was enough to comfort her. The words sad cannot describe the emotion I saw in her.

Why?

The constant 'why's were asked.

Why would you take the easy way out? Taking your life thinking that everyone will get over your death and life moves on? Selfish. Every burden you feel when you decide to commit suicide just don't disappear, they are converted and passed on to your family and friends, not for a moment but for a lifetime. They have to learn to live with you gone, to accept that questions they have will never be answered; they will be changed forever. Seeing a close friend's reaction itself, I cannot imagine the reactions of their family members. They lose a friend, a sibling, a son or a daughter.. In the case, even a wife to someone.

To the 2 families to that lost their loved ones, my deepest condolence to you.

To Jun, please stay strong.. 2013 has been utter bullshit to you, ever single thing that could ever happened to you have happened and you always manage to pick yourself and stay strong. 'come at me bro!!'

Both aren't even 30 years old, one of them aren't even 25 yet..

"If you have anyone you suspect is having some problems don't wait okay? Just ask them straight up if they are okay. They must feel so alone in the world that they actually take that path out."

Suicide is never as option.

I pray their families and friends will stay strong when the autopsy results are released.

There are people around you that love and care for you, help is always around.. Even the blogsphere (although dying) have many cool people you can email just for a chat or a little pick me up.

Just..
Don't do it please..

Leonut.


Wednesday, 18 April 2012

194 : Berlubang..

(Berlubang/ Lubang = Hole)

 Today, i got an extra lubang..

Everyone says berlubang at the right place, but i refuse to be right..
I wanted to be left.

Any advice on taking care of my extra lubang?

Love,
Leo


Tuesday, 19 July 2011

52: The pressure..

The pressure i currently face is unbearable..
The thought of every single deadline crashing down on me..
The expectations of  others..
The expectations of myself..
I'm at the break of tears..

Today i toke the decision of pulling the plug on something i've been working hard on for the pass 3 weeks..
I had no choice.. Putting the choreography that i thought worthy on the opening stage would end in disaster, i would be the one to blame if things go wrong.
I'm being watched constantly, by the ones wielding powers, by the ones that judge, the ones that put the responsibility one me. I should have said no.

10 more days till my life crashes down on me.
4 major projects due and 2 test that contributes to my Atar the whole next week..
Huge scale dance performance on Friday and saturday. 3 more practices to go... No choreography to show till now..
I'm wasting people's time, my grades are dropping, im going into depression soon..
I really have no idea what to do....
I feel like running away..

Thursday, 14 July 2011

48: Help...

Okay, basically I've promised myself that i would not get a boyfriend no matter how much i would love to get one since im leaving to Australia next year but something happened.. Unless he is drop dead gorgeous, that would be an exception..

I met this guy through facebook, i've seen him around my college before. An average joe. His appearance did not really catch my attention but i wanted to expand my Plu circle in case something happen and i need someone to fall back on. So i added him on facebook.

We exchanged information about each other, some general info and some "private" info.. hehe, Chat for about 2 hours. He cracked a lot of dirty jokes and all, honestly i had a fun time talking to him. At the end, he asked me for lunch. I didn't mind so i politely agreed.

Did i just agreed to be his boyfriend???? He isn't really my type and all too... I just really enjoyed the conversation.. What do i do??...Should i give it a try even though i know there is a large chance of the "relationship" ending in a disaster?..

If i reject him, does that mean i am reaching too high? I always imagined myself dating a cute looking boyfriend instead.. Tall and build which i can seek protection and comfort from..

Lunch "date" on tuesday..

LOVE,
Klex

My advice mentor has left for a holiday.. cyren ah....