Friday, 7 June 2013

383 : The stars decided?

I'm sitting in front of my laptop just refreshing pages and websites continuously. Only after a while did i realize how easily socially deprived i am.

My nights usually consist of eating dinner, going through the usual websites(occasionally porn), and then before long, Puppy will be online and we would talk for hours but this day is different. Puppy is busy and i'm left here alone. I always knew i don't have close friends but it never hit me till now. I have no one to talk to.

There are people that I used to talk to almost everyday, but as the days or weeks go by, I kinda get a cold shoulder from them. Few worded messages compared to the long ones we used to have, conversation topics would get dull and never seem to last, I would just feel so cold and distant that most times talking to them I would feel like a burden or I'm annoying them.. and we just stop talking completely.

Its tragic really.. Whats more pathetic than being in my current state of social deprivation and restlessness would be the fact I'm actually blogging about it to the whole world which would now know how friendless and sad my life really is.

A friend of mine is a really strong believer of horoscopes. She would read her year forecast(is that the right term?), month, week and often day forecasts as well. She uses them as a guideline for her current situation, but i'm shall not go into it tonight.. Well when she passed me my horoscope, I was quite stunned on how it actually describes my person as a whole.

An Aquarius. The page I read about my life mentioned I would have many friends, but non close friends. If i would actually manage to get a close friend, the chances are that they would rarely stay through my life. Most people would say "bullshit", but it was true. Through out primary and secondary school, I was actually hard for me to actually have a best friend. Through secondary school itself i had 3 different "best friend". That so, I was never their "top" friend. Pitiful? More like Pathetic. Maybe i'm just bad in making friends but among all 3 of them, non of them I'm still in contact with. Messages to them would be replied half a day or more than a day later, with replies which are impossible to reply to..

So my twinkle twinkle stars? Am i cursed with the failure you have decided? Yes I am.

Good nights.

Feel blessed if you have a friend to share everything with, wonder if this is what I will go through for the rest of my life.. I fucking hate this..


  1. My weekdays are dedicated to work, and only work.

    As for weekends, rather spend time alone.

    Am deprived too.


  2. aww, another fellow aquarius, hahaha, chill, i share the fate as you, maybe it's really our personality

  3. If all Aquarius is like that? Then that means there would be more for the other horoscopes. Where is everybody? Or I am just nobody?? ;(