246 : Words

If you pay attention to people's speech patterns, and break down their words, you can actually can read what they are thinking at the moment.

___________________________________________________

L : I thought I actually mean something to you
B : You did...
L : Exactly.. past tense.. I don't anymore..
___________________________________________________

C : You broke something again??
L : What do you mean 'again'? I didn't break anything before!
C : But.. i thought...
____________________________________________________

S : Haha, heart breaker!! Go around breaking people's hearts. Come la, break
     mine! hahaha
L : WTF??
S : My turn what.. lol =P
L : FUCK YOU!!
_____________________________________________________

For the first 2 i guess its just how people don't really think about their choice of words during the heat of the moment. First one kinda hurt when that person told me that.. lol, i did?..
3rd one was a supposedly a joke but the fact that the thought actually passed his mind to be made a joke.. Still hurt.

Choose your words carefully!
Leonut

245 : Distance

Distance is only separation.
To your beloved, your love ones, your passion and desires..
Without these factors there would not be such thing as distance,
Only locations..

To see people say that they would fight for what they believe in,
For the people that they love and they are worth every strength and effort,
It reminded me of the promises i made to myself in the beginning the year.

No matter how you try to keep your promise,
If the other party breaks it,
It turns void..
And that's what usually happens.

Watched this video and i found it really really sweet.
An emotional trigger. =P

I dont want you back.. but i miss the times we spent together..
Leonut!

244 : Love Flow Chart

Yups.. This probably sums up my love life perfectly...
Currently in the lonely stage again..
I'm only human, can you blame me?

I am that bored to be drawing flow charts...

Cookies and Cream,
Leonut

243 : Money

Was talking to a friend and the topic of money came up..

He mentioned that he "met up" a Singaporean that was filthy rich. The Singaporean had a bungalow in Sydney but my friend only had a house, all my friend's versace shirts were considered casual wear, how all his branded goods were so easily overshadowed by the Singaporean. Buying branded goods with a snap of a finger, bracelets over few thousand, top line branded clothes from head to toe, yet he still complained about how the Singaporean was richer then him..

I was just speechless..

Besides the exception of jeans and a dress shirt, I don't own a single pair of clothing more than rm200. Most of my clothes which i wear often are from reject shop. I'm not fishing for sympathy or labeling myself as 'poor' but isn't spending few thousand at one go on clothing at the age of 19 a little too much?..

Maybe it's just the way I was brought up by my mum. The money given to me by my parents are not exactly mine but 'borrowed' from them, in the future i would pay them back when they are too weak to work. That's just the way i think.. During this winter break too, as much as i love to fly home like everyone else, i really don't want to incur additional cost onto my parents. Been finding a job too to lessen the financial burden.

Not saying that it's wrong to be spending your money at will but i just don't feel right spending my parent's money like that, what rights do i have to be spending money for myself when my parents are trying to save as much money as possible?

So far i set a goal for myself. By the age of 25(Yes, again 25. Most goals are set there cause it seems most achievable..), i want to earn enough money and buy suits and blazers at will so i can wear formal everyday! Provided my job can pay for it of course.. Formal wear fetish gone too far?

Maybe my opinions on spending money so freely would change if i had the money. People are all different i guess, some influenced by their higher society, some by the fashion industry, but so far i am happy seeing the digits in my bank account. :D

Happy saving!
Leonut

242 : Attention

Everyone is yearning for attention,
Each person does it, its only human of us to do so.
This ultimately result in the birth of the "attention whore",
But what really is of that vain picture in the bathroom mirror is a way of expression for attention.

Everyone does it in a different way,
Through the internet like youtube or twitter,
Through eye catching clothing like branded clothing,
Or even the way of speech, flirting maybe?

When it comes down to it, everyone wants to be famous and hold influencing power,
To see our name's plastered over walls (Hopefully for a good reason), in magazine and or in videos.
The proud moment when you see your name in the newspaper is just exhilarating.

Just a note to someone, when you manage to get on your pedestal,
Just make sure your head does not inflate from the high altitude?
Don't insult people calling them ugly and you are happy they wont have ugly kids,
You are gay and I'm positive the chances of them getting kids is higher then yours.


_________________________________________________

Anyways.. I rejected someone's attention yesterday and I think its just conflict of my nature..
Part of me just really wants to be alone for the time being while another part wants someone to talk to..
Just so confused internally and i don't even know where to start breaking down the problem..
I need therapy..

  "Leonut is confused! It hurts itself in its confusion!"
"Leonut fainted!"

Lol..
Pokemon anyone?

Leonut.

241 : Another.

Peeling the scab of an unhealed wound,
Fresh gushing blood prolongs the healing,
Leaving black blood,
Visible to everyone against the pale skin,
Eventually scarring you for life.


The thing is I can't tell the difference between a rebound and love. Asking anyone and they will tell you that you are just having a rebound, and everything you have feeling now is just a result of misdirected affection. Is it true?.

The state of confusion I am in now, I really don't know what is going on most of the time. Just like that I hurt another with my stupid emotions. The ghost of my past still lingering around me, hovering over my shoulders, the feeling of guilt and treating someone so unfairly..
I just had to stop it before it goes out of hand..

I think I'll just stay single till 25..

Leonut

240 : Mine or Hers?

You gave your heart to her..
And now, without her knowing, you are giving apart of it to me..

Charming person you are, i never noticed them till now..
Months of friendship with a hidden secret,
exposed now to show your deepest feelings.

The abundant similarities we share,
interest in common and personality just shocks me..
Something tells me we would have alot of fun together..

But it all comes down to the question..
Is your heart mine to take if it belongs to a girl?..