Im just going to type of anything okay?..
Dont hold is against me.. its just my thoughts and feelings..
I feel so frustrated with myself..
Restlessness and Boredom often occupy most of my day
I just feel so annoyed..
I cant read him at all!!
He makes me freaking confuse!!
He tells me he likes me.. He made my first day of new year feel like a fairy tale..
But when he is online on facebook..
He never pm's me..
He never sms's me..
I mean if you like someone wouldnt you be talking non stop on facebook and stuff?..
I like him too..
And everyday i wait for him to pm me.. but he never happens..
He replies are slow too for smses and pm's when i pm him..
Adding the fact he had a few ex's before me that some of my friends labelled him as dangerous..
A sweet talker and he knows he is hot and alot of people likes him..
I feel like i am one of the few people that he keeps hanging on just for attention..
Maybe he just likes me giving him attention?..
Maybe he replies me slowly because he is talking to other guys?..
I am so confuse!!!
I might be just thinking too much..
I miss him hanging out with him..
My friend is calling me desperate..
I always denied it but talking to my friend minutes ago just made me realize alot of things..
Im bloody desperate i guess..
Im desperate for someone to fill the emptiness i am feeling..
It is such a horrible feeling..
I hate my ex..
I farking hate him for what he did to me..
He created a hole in my heart and left it there..
A hole that was always filled..
Im desperately trying to fill it..
But i am scared..
Terrified of what people might do to me..
I cant afford to be hurt again..
I really cant..
I hate this feeling..
I hate this feeling of not being able to control myself..
I want to be in control.. I need to be in control..
Of my emotions.. of my thoughts.. of my actions..
I feel like just talking to someone..
To tell that person literally everything..
God i sound like such an attention whore..
Dont know what to do...