Monday, 26 November 2012

324 : You.

You.
You are the guy i will actually admit I fell for after penguin.
The person i once look forward to talking to every day and night.

But before any proper feelings could develop, you shot me down. You told me "Why? Fell for me dy?".
Just that sentence made me feel like crap. Like i was that desperate little boy going after you..
Maybe i was? I started trying to kill off the feelings yet we still talk often.

We always sounded excited when we planned to meet, at least i was.

First time we plan to meet up.
I was on my way to meet you after uni. My train ticket was already validated since I took the train to uni and i was quite excited to finally meet you after talking about it the day before. I messaged you confirming everything before I boarded the train and you told me you had to cancel since you were busy..

The next time we planned to have dinner together, You agreed you can confirm dinner plans before 6.. I messaged you to confirm and you only replied at 7 something, by which i was already home eating dinner since it felt like you didn't want to confirm it..

Right after we both finished our exams I told you i was free on Friday, you told me you will let me know. The whole exam period you talked to me and sounded excited to finally have a chance to meet.. The whole Thursday and Friday I kept checking my phone for a confirmation reply.. Nothing...

Stood up 3 times..

It sucks how i feel damn stupid yet i'm not angry at all. Could be my own imagination of your affection towards me.
I'm often stood up but coming from you, it just hurt..

Stupid for me to be expecting anything right? You clearly told me no..
People said mean things about you but i know you aren't. You are a really nice loveable person which might just be the reason i fell..

Little more than a week till our paths will never have a chance to cross again and with that said i don't think we will meet at all.. Just.. not meant to be..

Like a friend said, I really give up finding someone. Countless times where I ever really love, I would be left broken while the other walks around undented.. It fucking sucks, it feels like there is something majorly wrong with me, like i'm really meant to be alone.. There must be something about me that kills their emotions, people don't tell you they like/love you and just take it back the next day right? Or do they?..
Nonetheless, I'm pathetic..

You found me through this blog, i wonder would you ever read this..
Missed chance.
Your banana boy,
Leonut. =(

27 comments:

  1. Huggies.. It will get better through time. I am pretty sure of it.

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  2. oh leonut. now u know that terrible terrible feeling of when u feel so hard on someone n the funny thing is he might not even give a ...err might not even care so much as replying ur message, sigh . we've all been through this. jia you

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    Replies
    1. What do you mean "now you know"??? I've always known this feeling and this isn't something new to me.

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  3. One thing I know, things don't come dropping by our doorstep bundled in roses and ribbons. Even if there were roses, we need to hurt ourselves digging down the bundle to get the good stuffs.

    So don't give up, just yet. Cause I'm still giving till 30 XD

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Tempus, that really got me thinking. Haha, 30 is when your market value depreciates to the minimum?

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  4. Oh I think I remember this guy! he's the cute looking one right hahaha...

    don't worry we all go through this.. I mean, if I were to list out the guys that I have had feelings/crush on, it could take the whole night LOL.. :P

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    Replies
    1. Should be la, i show you everyone one mah. lol
      Shall we pick a night to start? =P

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  5. Don't give up on love. Cause that's what gives you hope and meaning to life. Every rejection you face is to prepare yourselves for the right one. So that when he comes, you will be ready. And try not to put high expectations on someone, cause you might just be disappointed.

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  6. Is he already attached or have feelings for someone else already ?

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    Replies
    1. I assume feelings for someone else already since i don't think he is attached.

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  7. Awwww... You are too awesome to be ignored. Hugs...

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  8. hmm, maybe things will turn for the better soon ^^

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  9. Aww...maybe the stars just weren't aligned those few times Leo :(

    Which city are you in again?

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    Replies
    1. I'm in Melbourne/KL. Why do you ask?

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  10. A case of "hes just not that into you". We all know when men are truly interested they'd rearrange their schedules and mountains just to fit you in. When its nominal or when their hearts change, you'll just know it instinctively.

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    Replies
    1. Well said and true. So you need to hunt down that guy that will change his schedule for you everyday. lol..

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  11. i know exactly how you feel.
    about 2 month ago,i went for a date with A, during our first date A told me how much he loves me and all. after 2weeks he started to ignore me , refuse to meet me and now he is not even msg me/ call me... :( may be i should put a full stop here

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    Replies
    1. Those hypocrite fuckers.. But when someone says i love you on the first date, its quite creepy right?..

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    2. ya i was like whattt... haha
      may be he is busy la, he called me last night told me he was sick.

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    3. he disappears again ! what should i do

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    4. Just leave him be la.. Seriously no point letting him play with your emotions like that. Don't be a toy to him. =DD

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