304 : Stay Safe!

Really disturbing status update today by Pang Khee Tiek.

Go read the status!

Really surprise about it.. Every community has its goods and bads but seriously..
The LGBT community is already under fire all the time by the government, we don't need more reasons for public to shun us.
In another note, i guess the LGBT community isn't all that innocent.
With Grindr, Jack'd and many more, most people are given access to quickies anytime of the day, just buzz, meet and do it.
Lol, i know what i wana say but i'm just too tired to word it out properly..
If i make sense i make sense?

Anyways, just be careful alright?
Leonut.

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And for people like CX that don't have a facebook.. Lol

"ADVISORY FOR USERS OF LGBT DATING APPS & WEBSITES

To fellow members of the Rainbow Community, 

In the past 20 years, the internet has provided many LGBTIQ organisations and individuals with platforms to express our thoughts and identities in a relatively safe environment. One of the communities that has flourished as a result of this is Seksualiti Merdeka, where people of all sexual orientations and gender identities can come together in support of each other. 

Recently, Seksualiti Merdeka has received a certain information from a trustworthy ally. According to our source, a Malaysian mainstream television company is planning to do an exposé on social networking apps (on mobile phones) and websites that cater to the LGBTIQ community, specifically those that offer personal dating services. We were informed that this TV company will be hiring people to infiltrate these apps and websites and disguise themselves as looking for dates. 

Seksualiti Merdeka fears that the resulting conversations and photos between the moles and LGBTIQ individuals may be shown in a television programme that portrays LGBTIQs in a negative light. While Seksualiti Merdeka supports the right to freedom of expression, we believe that the intentions of the producers of this television exposé are negative in nature and the results may cause more harm than good. 

As a result we would like to advise members of the LGBTIQ community to exercise vigilance and care when interacting with strangers online. We urge you to employ discretion and common sense practices:
· Don’t give out your vital personal information to total strangers. 
· Don’t share your photos, especially ones that may compromise your identity. 
· Don’t meet a person you have just met online in a secluded area.
· If the person's conversation is making you uncomfortable, seem too probing, or is pressuring you into meeting or revealing certain information, stop interacting with the person immediately.

It is not Seksualiti Merdeka’s wish to spread panic and fear throughout the community. Despite the seriousness of this matter, we advise everyone to remain calm, exercise discretion and be supportive of one another. If you have any friends who you think may be at risk of being implicated in this exposé, please pass on this advisory to them.

Please inform us if you have any concerns or additional information about this matter. 

Thank you. 

Be safe and stay fabulous."
-Pang

303 : Dreams

No no, this isn't some 'i wish i can stay in dream land and escape reality' thing.
Weird as it sounds, its the other way around.

I'm the type of person who has really extreme dreams, unconsciously taking advantage of the dream world, i always had dreams that involve flying, superheroes or nightmares with murderers and kidnapping etc. Usually these dreams will appear vivid in my head after i wake up and often it affects my start of the day.

But recently, all these extreme dreams just disappeared. Instead i started having normal dreams that i don't remember much anymore. Just really really weird dreams.

Few friends and I planned a trip a while back. I had a dream that the organizer canceled it and after i woke up it took me half a day before i actually realize it was only a dream.

Similarly, i had a dream that my friend had quit his job, leaving me alone at work. Didn't realize it was a dream for a while. Another dream was i met this really charming cheerleader again. Ish!

So far these and a few more are the only ones i can remember right now. Who knows how many more dreams i had which i didn't know it was a dream. I need a reality check every morning.. lol

All the dreams seem so real. Like I was literally right there hearing and feeling everything. They feel more like a memory rather then a dream..

Ish.. brain, what are you doing?
Leonut.

302 : A Lecuter II

Remember few weeks ago I meet my university Lecturer at my work place with his group of friends.

I never told anyone about my discovery of his sexuality though.

During his lecture this week a friend of mine caught me of guard with a question :

"Eh.. You know he is gay?"

"Huh? How you know? Don't me so bad la"

"No, sure confirm he is gay already"

"What did he do wor?"

"Last week you never came for lecture, he opened the MYER website to explain a point, he literally said 'and here, you see all the hot guys wearing the clothes' and when everyone burst out laughing he looked like he was in shocked, stumbled a bit and said 'Er.. There are cute girls too'. That's why people say he is gay."

"Okays.. He gay.. "

Lol, so now everyone knows he is gay without me even spilling the restaurant event. 

This is what happens when you are too used to talking to gay people. I nearly fell victim to this too, I asked a straight guy friend 'Your boyfriend le?' without thinking. Thank god I manage to save and told him the word 'boyfriend' slip my mouth when I thought of asking the same question to a female friend if she had a boyfriend.

Process before talking?..
Leonut

301 : Depleting Youth?

The future is a really scary place ain't it?
The uncertainty and unpredictability of it, adding the fact it will come no matter what.

The pass two weeks has been killer busy.
Assignments due, surprise test and scheduled internal exams all drawing near as the semester ends.

With all the events going, a number of big bosses from Malaysia were invited over to give speeches as well as to give young students a chance to apply internship at their companies. A friend of mine with a few others heading a large student organization got really involved, having almost every meal, breakfast, lunch, and dinner with the head of companies for few days straight such as PWC, CIMB, E&Y and the list goes on. He have a number of pretty good offers by a few companies.

Of course jealously filled my heart, he had such a good opportunity, he is doing what my dad dreams of me doing, to get powerful connections in top companies and to intern before even graduating.

Anyways, I told him honestly i really wish i had his opportunity to build the connections. Only the top committee members of his organization have that privilege. He told me to run for the committee, i wouldn't mind but seeing him have an event almost every week that requires compulsory attendance, i told him i might not be able to be so active, i'm already juggling studies, social life, 2 dance societies, a normal society, and work.

He knows as well dancing eats up 40% of my time and commented :" Dancing isn't that important, this has to do with your future, think how much easier finding a job with being a committee. Must get your priorities straight mah."

But honestly.. If i don't dance now, will i get a chance when i'm older?..
Would you enjoy your passion while you still can or do whats best for your future?
Its a lose lose situation if you ask me.

hm...

Leonut

300 : 100 Facts

Here lies 100 random crap facts about me that nobody cares.

1. I am born with a penis which is attracted to other penises.
2. Currently studying business in Australia.
3. Have a twin brother and an elder sister.
4. Mama's boy at heart.
5. Used to doodle a alot when i was young as well as attended drawing classes.
6. Practically tone death.
7. Can't sing to save my life.
8. First dance i joined was in form 1 school concert. Had to wear a "male night gown" to portray that era. Most Embarrassing Thing EVAR.
9. Started properly dancing in form 4, inspired by my best friend that had changed school.
10. Dance urban, latin and ballroom as well as contemporary. Or try to?
11. Love spicy food yet i can't handle it at times.
12. Love eating lemons.. People think i'm crazy.. but its really good..
13. Although a coward, i love watching horror movies, traumatized for 1 day to 1 week max.
14. Worst horror movie i watched was "doll master". Freaky shit!
15. Can't stand gore or thriller movies. Blood by knife or torture is just really creepy..
16. I love wearing plain shirts, no brand, no logo just one colour.
17. I have a plain shirt in almost every colour.. Except brown..
18. I don't own any high end branded clothes.. I think the most expensive i ever bought was an esprit tee.. So fitting and sexy!
19. People think i'm older then i really am..
20. Absolutely love soft toys. But it has to be an animal.
21. I own 4 dog, 1 duck and 1 shark soft toy so far..
22. Need something to hug to sleep every night, which now is my shark.
23. Love animals to the max.
24. Wanted to be a vet when i grew up but family issues prohibits.
25. Only pet at home are fishes. Boring little animals they are.
26. I'm terrified of lizards and frogs of all things. I'm not even scared of snakes.. but lizards.. I would run a mile from them.
27. Favorite animal now are yellow ducks.. yup. Ducks.
28. Really love nature! So many species and all so unique!
29. I'm a korean fanatic.
30. Favourite korean groups are BigBang and 2ne1. YG family bias.
31. Apparently i have thick lips.
32. My assignments are usually done on the 11th hour and 55th min.
33. Consider myself a lucky person academic wise.
34. Currently addicted to dried fruit and nuts.
35. Was a leo club member in high school
36. No preference when it comes to noodles or rice.
37. Really stingy with money.
38. Only drink sky juice and occasionally fruit juices.
39. Used to prefer vegetables over meat when young, now its the other way round.
40. Attracted to shinny things.
41. Kinda low self-esteem.
42. Love cold weather over hot weathers.
43. All time favourite Disney character is Stitch.
44. Social whore, love to belong to groups.
45. Honestly a hypocrite(who isn't?) to certain people.
46. Paper freak.
47. Love arts and crafts.
48. Express love by giving handmade book marks to people. So far only made 6. 3 for family, 1 for a best friend, and 2 for two guys which i never had a chance with. Kena dumped before i could finish one for my ex.
49. Wears glasses when studying.
50. Favourite colours are basically bright colours, especially blue, red and yellow. Superman?
51. Only out to 7 straight people so far, 2 guys and 4 girls.
52. Sister knows I'm gay.
53. Really hyper in nature.
54. Talkative to certain people.
55. Lame jokes fill the air when i am high.
56. High when lack of sleep or with large intake of sugar.
57. Really scared of good looking people especially guys.
58. Terrified of people's boyfriends.
59. Sucked up my way through high school.
60. Used to take part in acting competitions.
61. Don't expect anyone to read so far, so i might as well add more private stuff.. Still reading?
62. Still a virgin, front and back.
63. Formal wear fetish. I love dressing up in slacks and a shirt.
63. First ever boner i ever remember having was watching Arnold Schwarzenegger getting stripped in "Jingle All The Way". Lol, 1996?
64. Apparently i have value in the thai market over 25.
65. Had cuddle sessions with only 3 guys before, one singaporean and 2 thai guys.
66. There have been only 3 guys that i really fell hard for.
67. First serious crush in form 4, first relationship last year and fell really HARD for one guy beginning of the year.
68. Never had a movie date before. Boohoo.
69. Kinky number ain't this?
70. Seriously having trust issues since some event that happened.
71. Absolutely love celery although most people don't like em.
72. Not inked.
73. Pierced.
74. Been clubbing only twice. Didn't enjoy it.
75. Never got drunked before.
76. Punctual.. Sometimes..
77. Still watches cartoons. Fairy odd parents and avatar the last airbender are a few to name.
78. Have an undeniable attraction towards guys with small eyes.
79. Charming smiles that makes their eyes almost a line just melts my heart.
80. Jboy, the answer to your question is 10.2. Now sshh and don't ever speak of it again.
81. Love Tall, Fair and Charming. White skins are so nice!
82. Wake up at 9am automatically everyday.
83. Once every few weeks i would wake up sneezing.
84. All jeans look the same to me as well as handbags.
85. Would spend on others more then myself.
86. Naturally flirty towards really obvious gay guys, but not the "i want your dick" type, just the friendly type.. lol?
87. Best friends are guys.
88. I secretly love a crab. :3
89. Chocolate cheese cake. <3
90. Vertically challanged, bit horizontal too.
91. Born and raised Malaysian.
92. Favourite part of a chicken is the bone marrow at the bottom of the drumstick piece. Know where?
93. Wish i had more gay friends to talk crap with. Usually now its just Jboy. lol
94. Sleep shirtless even though it winter. Love the body contact.
95. Love hugs from behind. Who doesn't?
96. Favorite fruit are peaches and apricots.
97. Hyper x horny after midnight.
98. Great at taking stalker pictures
99. Naked under my clothes, i bath naked.
100. Procrastinator. I started writing this on the 27th of September. lol
101. I wish i can let go all hopes of penguin completely by now.
A friend suggested to write this and heck why not.
Its not like i can appear anymore boring as i already am.
So here yea go! 100 facts pointless random facts about me, 1 fact for 3 post i did.
I can't think of anymore.. lol

Leonut

299 : Changing

I'm changing.

The desperate-for-a-relationship self seems to have just died away..
About 2 months back, I woke up feeling  like everything in my life seems to be out of place.
Everything just felt wrong and I was far from where I want my life to be, was walking down the wrong path.
That day itself i deleted all the "evil" applications from my phone.

Well i'm not saying that I don't want a relationship anymore, I still do.
Its just that I lost the mood to keep up with everything.
I rather not walk a path then reach a dead end at every path i take.
Every time someone shows interest , its always temporary and i have to get through the same thing, all the  heartaches and the mood swings.
Its really tiring.
Somehow i just gave up completely.

Honey bunny sent me a few picture of supposedly hot guys..
Heh..
I see hot guys come in during work, during uni or just in the city all the time and i don't even bother taking a second look anymore.. No point getting my hopes up right?
Don't feel the attraction, the urge or anything towards any guys.. Its just another person.
Guess my self-esteem has really hit rock bottom with the number of rejection and heartbreaks i went through in the pass 1 year.

I want somebody.. but i don't want anybody..
Does it make sense?.. =(

I've changed.
Practically a nun now.
Leonut

298 : How do you love?

How do you love?
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Boys fall hard and quick. Not exactly the love with your dick type but rather follow their hearts. Feel what they feel and do what they need to do to get their target. When they are in a relationship, they would love with their hearts but fall out quickly too. One week later they would be out again looking for another, letting go of the bitter memories and moving on.

Girls take time to fall in love. Mostly being caution when making their choice and take time getting to know and evaluate that person before getting into anything serious. Holding on and cherishing only the sweet moments and memories, they tend to fall out really slowly, taking months or even half a year to let go of the sweet memories.

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Just what I got from a little impromptu focus group I had with few guy and girl friends.
Something really stereotypical..
True or not, i don't know, but most importantly, does it apply for gays?

For me its fall hard and quick, takes me forever to fall out.. been almost 8 months.. lol

Something random.
Leonut