Monday, 8 October 2012

299 : Changing

I'm changing.

The desperate-for-a-relationship self seems to have just died away..
About 2 months back, I woke up feeling  like everything in my life seems to be out of place.
Everything just felt wrong and I was far from where I want my life to be, was walking down the wrong path.
That day itself i deleted all the "evil" applications from my phone.

Well i'm not saying that I don't want a relationship anymore, I still do.
Its just that I lost the mood to keep up with everything.
I rather not walk a path then reach a dead end at every path i take.
Every time someone shows interest , its always temporary and i have to get through the same thing, all the  heartaches and the mood swings.
Its really tiring.
Somehow i just gave up completely.

Honey bunny sent me a few picture of supposedly hot guys..
Heh..
I see hot guys come in during work, during uni or just in the city all the time and i don't even bother taking a second look anymore.. No point getting my hopes up right?
Don't feel the attraction, the urge or anything towards any guys.. Its just another person.
Guess my self-esteem has really hit rock bottom with the number of rejection and heartbreaks i went through in the pass 1 year.

I want somebody.. but i don't want anybody..
Does it make sense?.. =(

I've changed.
Practically a nun now.
Leonut



17 comments:

  1. Oh my, someone's turning asexual or maybe, turning bi.

    :)

    It's just phase, after a moment, you will be ready for love again.

    :D

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    1. Lol, i told someone before too. Maybe i'm turning Asexual. LOL

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  2. haha no worries Sister LeoNut! Sister Jboy is right by your side in the convent hahaha... We will go to the great hall and sing some uplifting music in the style of an over the top black woman like Queen Latifah!! hahahaha LOL :P

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    1. Oh sister jboy. We dress up as nun's for Halloween k? Lol, sing together! =P

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  3. Hahahaha for some random reason, I searched for this video on YouTube:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ny5H9GiVP_0

    dramatic much? :P

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  4. It does =) Just like u said, instead of anybody, it's time to find that somebody that really cares about u. Either sooner or later but u will find one. Have faith =)

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    1. Like!! Sometimes, true love will happen when it's the time with your strong will. Just remember to hold it when it comes

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    2. Thanks soul and shin yong. Its darkest before the dawn i suppose? Like super emo period now, should be a sign something good happening soon lo.. ><

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  5. Its more of that time when you just decide not to think about any relationship and just focus on life. At one point you may want someone but another you just get too tired of it. A break is good, at times you'll find it more relaxing.. :)

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    1. Yea!! Exactly! But sometimes seeing open couples around really feel emo and jealous la. Just now at the bus station got this couple, holding hands and hugging in public, really daring yet sweet.. jealous. ><

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  6. you can only be a monk lah. if you don't need it just focus on other stuffs now then. And ditto to soul, let people care more about you now, find someone who cares for you more than you care for em.

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    1. WHY CAN'T I BE A NUN?? Jboy says i can!

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  7. dear leo, ... wait... did i call u dear leo... nvm... dont beat urself so up till u cant see urself. or maybe swing ur mood so high. ok i exaggerate... btw its not somebody. u dont want a shell body. its someone... special dat is. apple of ur eye... no? orange then... kidding... rejection teaches appreciation. everything is a double sided coin. no double sided koala though.... ok i end my grandma story. hope u geddit.

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    Replies
    1. Took me a few reads to get it but yea i do. Don't want just anyone but that someone. Will keep your advice in mind from now on. =)

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