271 : Tired..

Came back home from dance..
Don't even know if i past my auditions, screwed up as usual...
Sat down facing my laptop and I'm here..
Tears rolling down my cheek, dripping off my chin, darkening the colour of my jacket upon contact..

I'm just tired...

There is just this feeling that i feel everyday..
A feeling of emptiness waiting to be filled by a presence,
Of love perhaps? of warmth and affection only a hug by someone special can give.
or maybe jealously..
Of what so many people have found which my every attempt just ended so pathetically..
I can't tell..
It's just a feeling of something out of place..

Assignments piling up, date dues drawing near..
Knowledge I'm suppose to know in classes just aren't there..

I joined dance to escape all the stress and worries but it manage to catch up with me.
Asked to help choreograph and partnerwork dance with no partner..
The stress of not meeting their high standards etc..
My brain isn't delivering like it suppose to me..

Been procrastinating everything..
What am i doing with my life la?..

I want to go home..