Saturday, 28 April 2012

203 : Okay.

I am not okay. I say i am each time people ask is because i don't like it when people tell me what to do. The crucial moment when i hit my rock bottom, i had so many people come tell me how to feel and what i am suppose to do. I can't even get my thoughts clear and I have people just shoving thoughts on how i am suppose to be. When i tell people i am doing good they go "Sure anot?", "Don't lie". If i already told you i am okay it mean I don't want to talk about it. Don't insist your opinion and thoughts on me.
Dont get me wrong. There are alot of people that helped and i Am seriously grateful me but there are some people who just decided that they are supreme, sitting on their pedestal and making me feel worst.

People keep saying you will feel better as time goes by, time heals everything..
but mine is just getting worst..
The thoughts and maturity that held myself together for almost a month just seems like its breaking down, slowly shattering exposing me to everything i refused to face in the past. It sucks and its actually affecting my daily routine.. I got nudge by my friend few days ago while doing my assignment.. I just paused there for 10 minutes, sighing once in a while with a blank look on my face..

I really want to feel better but i just cant bring myself to find my path of happiness..
I feel like i am in a maze lost and desperately trying to find my way out..

I don't want to feel like this..
I don't like being depressed..

I want to feel Okay.
To smile again..            :