I'm not denying it, in 3 months time, I'm leaving to Australia, the decision is final, and somewhat compulsory.
My future is planned from the start, the day i was born, the planners had decided the path i will take, scratch that, the path my siblings and i will take. My kindergarten, primary school, high school, even tuitions, each guided and weightage of my opinions were taken to a minimum. I do pity my older sister, being the oldest sibling in the family, she was legacy in the family. She went for classes and tuitions that my mum sent, and my twin brother and i didn't if my sister did not progress from the tuition. She was the experiment guinea pig if you may.
I look up to my sister, and i love her dearly..
She is homophobic.. So are my parents but lets focus on my sister now..
I'm suppose to join my sister in Australia..
I am suppose to stay with my sister and my brother when i go to Melbourne to study. It would save a ton of money and can greatly reduce the pressure on my family's financial liquidity. Her even homophobic boyfriend who i secretly dislike might be joining us to. Okay.. get back to point..
I have a choice.. To go to Melbourne to study or to Perth..
If i go to Perth i would be free from any family pressure what-so-ever, i have been with my twin every step of life since birth and i would seriously love to have freedom.. but i would be breaking my sister's heart.. She has been excitedly planing for our arrival since a few months ago.. Finding places to rent and setting aside money to buy furniture. I dont have any friends going to Perth and I'm honestly terrified of going there without any support. What if i face an emergency? My closes family member would be 4 hours away.
If i go to Melbourne, i would have to stay with my sister and it would be bloody awkward. I tired outing to her a few weeks back and she has regarded it as "a phase" which annoyed the hell out of me. I have friends in Melbourne and I have my sister to guide me along.
Honestly i dont know what i'll choose..
I dont know if my given freedom of choosing a University is an illusion..
Will i have the guts to stray from my planned route?..
You are in genting now.. The trip i was suppose to go with you, we would be cuddling by now.. I remember how happy i was when you invited me to go with you... I woke up depressed again.. Wondering if everything that had happened was just a dream..