Yes, im extremely hopeless.
You create this barrier in your mind, telling you stop, telling you that you have been hurt, stay away, let things be, forget, let go..
Fortify your barrier, strengthen with steel, drill with nails and build with bricks..
Swear a bit.. Scream a bit..
Im ready.. I wont feel a thing.. Im strong..
Then i see you...
Cracks appear in the barrier, everything comes crashing down, into pieces...
Every single advice that people told me just vanish..
I feel like crying.. i miss you..
I really really do..
I miss your voice...
I wanted to talk to you..
People keep tell me don't let you get the satisfaction of having someone clinging on to you..
I really dont know what im feeling..
You probably dont care..
I doubt you still read my blog..
After my exam i wanted to look for you..
But i dint had the guts.. Then i did something stupid...