Thursday 10 November 2011

105 : I am hopeless

Yes, im extremely hopeless.
You create this barrier in your mind, telling you stop, telling you that you have been hurt, stay away, let things be, forget, let go..
Fortify your barrier, strengthen with steel, drill with nails and build with bricks..
Swear a bit.. Scream a bit..
Im ready.. I wont feel a thing.. Im strong..

Then i see you...
Cracks appear in the barrier, everything comes crashing down, into pieces...
Every single advice that people told me just vanish..
I feel like crying.. i miss you..
I really really do..
I miss your voice...
I wanted to talk to you..

People keep tell me don't let you get the satisfaction of having someone clinging on to you..
But..
I really dont know what im feeling..
You probably dont care..
I doubt you still read my blog..

After my exam i wanted to look for you..
But i dint had the guts.. Then i did something stupid...

Im hopeless..
Ck...

9 comments:

  1. It's not easy to let go, me myself been clinging for 2 years and that's not even a relationship yet.


    I think I'll be even more depressed if I would have be with him.

    Hang in there, time will heal. Meantime, do something else for a distraction.

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  2. agree with the distraction theory. Just make your life and yourself busy for the time being =)

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  3. funny funny things happen in life.. be happy and grateful that youre alive today somehow makes other things trivial.. at least thats my case :) boomz! go karaoke!!

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  4. Yeah, like CX said, do something distract yourself.

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  5. This is that sticky, clingy, 'can't forget about you' phase. But it's only a phase. It will pass.. no matter how grim things may seem at one point in time, you will move on.
    I know it's a stupid cliche, but time really does heal everything.

    And speaking of doing stupid things, I don't think you can top me. I have done some seriously crazy shit, embarrassing things to the ppl I had a crush on that I can never take back. And then it comes back to haunt you every time you run into that person. But what the hell, life goes on :P

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  6. direct ur attention to food, helps a lot, gambateh~

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  7. To chen xing, jason and khai, I am actually distracting myself.. But those little windows of blank thoughts between work and you bounce right back to depression for a while before slowly recovering again.. ><!

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  8. To tuls, Im getting happier by the day! :P

    To Jboy, its not a stupid cliche la.. i appreciate all advices and usually the best advice are the cliches cause they are the most true ones.

    To ooi, haha i remember.. :)

    To Orange, NEVER!! I DONT WANT GROW FAT!! haha

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